Skip to main contentSkip to footer
Woman in activewear looking at the camera© Sophie Mitchell Photography

How my husband and I navigated the minefield of menopause

Personal trainer Kate Rowe-Ham, 47, shares why menopause marks an exciting new chapter in her marriage

When you purchase through links on our site, we may earn commission. Read our full commerce guidelines here.

Melanie Macleod
Wellness Editor
January 23, 2024
Share this:

Kate Rowe-Ham is a powerhouse when it comes to menopause. The 47-year-old even penned a book on the subject, Owning Your Menopause: Fitter, Calmer, Stronger in 30 Days, sharing her wisdom with the masses.

That said, when she began experiencing perimenopause symptoms herself at 41, Kate was not prepared for what was to come and felt ill-equipped for the way menopause would impact every element of her life, from her marriage and her friendships to her health.

"I had heart palpitations, breathlessness and crippling anxiety," Kate says. "There were times when I thought I was going to die and told my husband to tell the doctors it was my heart, because my palpitations were so bad."

Woman in activewear smiling for the camera© Sophie Mitchell Photography
Kate Rowe-Ham wasn't ready for her menopause symptoms

The impact menopause had on Kate's relationship with her husband was one of the biggest shocks, with the personal trainer sharing many of her friends ended up going through divorces while grappling with menopause.

"You don't know who you are anymore and you can grow apart from your partner," Kate said of the way menopause can impact our closest relationships. 

"I was shouting at my husband and my kinds, and looking back, I wouldn't have wanted to live with me then. It's a really difficult time of transition and a lot of marriages don't come back from it."

Navigating marriage during menopause

Kate worried about her husband's reaction to her explaining that she was perimenopausal. 

"He might switch me out for a younger, more versatile model," she fretted, before realising it was a relief that her feelings of anger and isolation were explained. "I realised we had a way back and that this was a solvable issue."

INSPIRATION: Menopause made me feel like an imposter – but now I'm more liberated than ever 

"I told him he was going to have to bear with me for however long it took to come out the other side," Kate said of how she and her husband navigated menopause. 

"It's frustrating, because when you have young children your relationship might take a backseat, then as you get back on track, menopause starts," but there is a way to reframe the transition.

women in pink swmsuit in open water© Sophie Mitchell Photography
Menopause is a new chapter to navigate together, says Kate

A new relationship chapter

Kate explains that if we see raising children together as the second chapter in our relationship, navigating and coming through menopause together is a third chapter to look forward to.

"We agreed to stick around together because it's worth it. We love each other," Kate says. "It's been difficult but we've got so much still to look forward to. It's about feeling positive about the future.

"It might not be great right now, but there are always good times ahead."

book cover of Owning Your Menopause: Fitter, Calmer, Stronger in 30 Days
Owning Your Menopause: Fitter, Calmer, Stronger in 30 Days is out now

 Read more inspiring stories of women in their second act and buy Owning Your Menopause: Fitter, Calmer, Stronger in 30 Days here.

Sign up to HELLO Daily! for the best royal, celebrity and lifestyle coverage

By entering your details, you are agreeing to HELLO! Magazine User Data Protection Policy. You can unsubscribe at any time. For more information, please click here.

More Weddings

See more