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Finding love in perimenopause: 5 ways to ace midlife dating

Read dating coach Kate Taylor's expert advice for mingling in midlife

Melanie Macleod
Wellness Editor
October 18, 2024
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Dating in midlife can seem more trouble than it's worth. Navigating family dynamics makes planning dates more difficult and (rightfully) high standards mean the pool to pick a partner from is smaller, but it's important to remember some huge positives come with dating in midlife.

A new survey by dating app Ourtime revealed that 18% of women feel more confident during this life stage, while over a quarter said they are more comfortable in themselves, post-menopause.

On top of that, one in five women said they finally feel ready to focus on what they want. If you're among them and you're considering getting back into dating, Ourtime's dating coach, Kate Taylor, has recorded some exclusive advice for HELLO!. Watch the video below and read on for her expert intel on midlife dating.

WATCH: 5 tips for midlife dating

Midlife dating advice

1. Keep a dating diary

If you're using dating apps, you'll know there's a wealth of people to chat with, which means you have a lot of information to keep track of.

Redhead in plunging blue top
Kate Taylor shares her dating advice

If menopause has gifted you with the common symptoms of brain fog and memory loss, a dating diary is great for keeping track of the people you meet and the things that each person is interested in.

More than that, it will also give you a bird's eye view of the relationship. During this stage of my life, I have found myself being slightly irrational at times, and if the same has happened to you, the dating diary will help you see a calm and logical pattern of a relationship over time so you can work out if you're simply feeling a bit more insecure than normal, or if there's a genuine red flag.

 MORE MIDLIFE DATING: I was worried I'd be 'damaged goods' post-divorce 

2. Keep up with exercise

In my experience, exercise was the only thing that kept my menopausal rage under control. 

The reason we get so angry out of the blue during menopause is our cortisol levels going berserk and I found the best way to get cortisol under control is exercise. So hit the gym or go for a brisk walk before a date to feel calm and collected!

 READ: What midlife women want you to know about exercise 

3. Try online dating

We're often at the peak of our careers when perimenopause hits, plus we might have family commitments too.

A woman is lying down on a bed and using a smart phone at night.© Getty/recep-bg
Dating apps are great if you're busy

If your busy life means you're struggling to get out there and meet people, online dating is a good way to fit romance into your week.

 RELATED: I tried online dating as a widow in my 50s - here's what you need to know 

4. Attend singles events

But if you're someone who'd rather meet people face to face, dating sites such as Ourtime hold singles events such as wine tasting and cookery lessons, so you can get to meet people in person rather than via a screen.

 READ: Am I too old to call my partner my 'boyfriend' at 50? 

5. Don't try and hide your symptoms

If you're experiencing perimenopausal symptoms, be honest about everything you're going through. 

If you're on a date and you experience a hot flush, don't try and hide it and pretend that everything's fine, share that you're feeling warm and suggest sitting outside for a while.

MORE FROM KATE: Why I chose companionship over chemistry in my 50s - and you should too 

The more open you are about what you're going through, the more your partners will understand.

Find out more about Ourtime

Love midlife? Join Second Act today!

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Say HELLO! to your Second Act

HELLO! originally launched its Second Act hub to reframe midlife and beyond as a celebratory, exciting new chapter full of endless possibilities. From inspirational tales of women who refuse to fade into the background,  to valuable advice on navigating relationships, finances and health issues  – we've featured them all. And such has been the overwhelmingly positive response from readers, we are now turning the hub into a FULL and FREE community where women like you can come together to shape something truly inspiring.

The cornerstones of the community will be two brand new newsletters. One monthly and one weekly. We are really excited about the monthly newsletter which will be themed and written by one of our roster of leading Second Act voices, including our editor at large, Rosie Green. The content will be reserved exclusively for Second Act subscribers.

We are also launching a monthly mentoring series, in the form of a five-minute video sent directly to your inbox featuring financial professionals, hormone specialists, life coaches and more. Again, it will be reserved exclusively for subscribers.

Below we have listed the inaugural benefits, and more will be added as we grow and shape the community. If you wish to help us shape our community, please take part in our one-slide survey here.

Member benefits

  • Monthly newsletter written by one of our Second Act experts 
  • Weekly newsletter curating the best of our online Second Act articles
  • Monthly mentoring videos
  • Ask the expert
  • Competitions
  • Lots of exciting benefits to come...

Sign up to HELLO!'s Second Act newsletter today. This community is as much yours as it ours!

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