'Can we talk?' Joan Rivers 10 best jokes


September 4, 2014

The great comedy legend Joan Rivers passed away on Thursday afternoon.Known for her catchphrase, "can we talk?", Joan was an actress, writer, producer, and TV host of the incredibly successful Fashion Police - and she was a pioneer, with her confrontational, confessional, and often aggressive comedic style riling many but providing a pathway for other female stand-ups to emerge and go toe-to-toe with male comics.

HELLO! Online have picked our ten favourite quotes or jokes from Joan's back catalogue, to celebrate her trailblazing career....

  1. "People say that money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made."
  2. "The first time I see a jogger smiling, I’ll consider it."
  3. "At my funeral, I want Meryl Streep crying in five different accents."
  4. "I've had so much plastic surgery, when I die, they will donate my body to Tupperware."
  5. "I wish I had a twin so I could know what I'd look like without plastic surgery."
  6. "I succeeded by saying what everyone else was thinking."
  7. "The fun of working on the road means stealing from hotels. I’ve been doing it for so long, I have a set of towels from the Ark."
  8. "I don’t exercise. If God had wanted me to bend over, he would have put diamonds on the floor."
  9. "Thank God we’re living in a country where the sky’s the limit, the stores are open late and you can shop in bed thanks to television."
  10. "I hate housework. You make the beds, you do the dishes, and six months later, you have to start all over again."

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