Amanda Abbington has bravely revealed how she considered suicide after splitting from her longtime partner, Martin Freeman.
The actress – who is best known for playing Mary Watson in Sherlock – told James O'Brien on his Full Disclosure podcast, how she "was a bit of a mess" and "hated herself."
Opening up about some of her darker moments, Amanda frankly recalled the first time she'd considered taking her own life. "And I was sat there as I was driving, in my head, and I haven't said this since I started therapy six years ago, 'you could always kill yourself,'" she candidly shared.
© Photo: Getty ImagesAmanda and Martin share two children together
"And that was what my mantra used to be. If you've let people down and upset somebody or if you're not being the best you can or you're a bad mother, or you're not stepping up with your acting, you can always kill yourself."
She went on to say: "That was a genuine option for me, quite a few times in my life. Then I don't have to be this bad person because I don't have to be here any more."
READ: Martin Freeman praises 'brilliant' ex Amanda Abbington as he opens up about split
RELATED: Amanda Abbington shares heartbreaking details of Martin Freeman split
Amanda and Martin called it quits in 2016 after 16 years together. The former couple share two children together: Joe, 17, and Grace, 15. At the time of their separation, Amanda told Red magazine: "I had thought Martin was the love of my life. This wasn't meant to happen to us.
© Photo: Getty ImagesThe star has since found love with Jonathan Goodwin
"I would wake every morning with a sudden lurch. 'Why do I feel sick?' I'd ask myself, in the darkness of the bedroom I no longer shared with my partner. And then, a split-second later, I'd remember what had happened. 'Oh,' I thought, as the tears started to fall. 'That's why'."
Since their split, Amanda has found love with Jonathan Goodwin. The couple have enjoyed a whirlwind romance which led to Jonathan popping the question in August 2021.
Martin, meanwhile, is currently dating French actress, Rachel Mariam. The lovebirds were first romantically linked back in November 2020 after Mariam shared a slew of romantic photographs featuring the loved-up couple.
For emotional support you can call the Samaritans 24-hour helpline on 116 123, email jo@samaritans.org, visit a Samaritans branch in person or go to the Samaritans website.
