Kelly Clarkson got candid in a new interview about her marriage to Brandon Blackstock, more specifically, what made her push for it to work.
The singer, 41, opened up on the podcast "We Can Do Hard Things with Glennon Doyle" about her "ego" being the reason she stuck around in the marriage.
She said: "My ego... [I thought,] 'I can do this. I can handle so much.' My ego is, 'I can control my actions, I can control my reactions, I can do this and I can reach this person and I can get through.'"
Kelly, herself a child of divorce, didn't want her children with Brandon, River (eight) and Remington (seven), to experience what she'd gone through.
MORE: Kelly Clarkson shares incredible news – and fans are thrilled
"If I'm being completely honest, we don't want to do what we saw done," she continued. "I don't want my kids to be those kids at school.
© Getty Images"It's a little different – they grew up here and it's a very progressive city. But in the south, there was like two of us with divorced parents in our class. So it was very different.
MORE: Kelly Clarkson debuts her new man of the moment and you won't believe who it is
"Even when you come down to [say] daddy-daughter dances and you don't have anyone show up. You have to think about all of those things and you play it out differently in your head too."
© Getty ImagesThe American Idol winner continued: "You try so hard and you think, 'I do not want to do that to her, I don't want to do that to him' – that you never start thinking about yourself. That's why sometimes to be selfish was important to me."
The talk show host talked more about feeling like her light was "dimming" in the relationship, which was the inspiration for the song "lighthouse" from her upcoming album, Chemistry, her first since 2017's Meaning of Life.
© Getty Images"You choose to dim it," Kelly said. "If I'm not around people like friends, families and lovers that are okay with the amount of light that I have then we're just not meant to be together and that's okay.
"But to dull yourself so you feel like somebody else can shine or so you feel like you're not in the way or whatever the situation is... that's not a healthy way to live."
© Getty ImagesKelly and Brandon, the son of music label exec Narvel Blackstock, first filed for divorce in 2020 after eight years of marriage, though their divorce was marred with custody, property, and alimony disagreements, and it wasn't finalized until two years later.
After raising her children between their Montana home and Los Angeles, Kelly and her family are set to make a big move, as The Kelly Clarkson Show will be moving to New York for its upcoming fifth season.
© Getty ImagesNBCUniversal will be moving the show to 30 Rockefeller Plaza, home to some of their most beloved shows such as their late night fare and Saturday Night Live.
In fact, the network is going all out for its move, with an impressive new studio space to be built for the show, which will film in its iconic Studio 6A.
