Summer is finally here, the flowers are in bloom and love is on Ayda Field Williams’s mind during HELLO! Happiness’ exclusive interview and photoshoot for Beautiful You, where we celebrate learning to love yourself. After 17 years together – 13 of them married – the actress is sharing the secrets of her ever-blossoming romance with pop star Robbie Williams, 49, and how they are bringing up their four children: Teddy, ten, Charlie, eight, Coco, four, and three-year-old Beau.
She gives her rock star husband credit for giving her the confidence to strive to be her best self. And while intimacy has changed as the years have passed, Ayda reveals they're no less in-sync as a couple. "The thing that always sticks with Rob and I, no matter what, is that we make each other laugh more than anyone else in the world. Laughter is our love language and it's stronger than ever. We crack each other up the same way we did 17 years ago."
Behind Closed Doors: The Intimate Moments of Ayda and Robbie's Marriage
All fired up when talking about love and passion, Ayda has no qualms about setting the record straight about her intimate life with her husband after she and Robbie joked in April: "There is no sex after marriage." "We had this funny overshare that was in all the papers," she says. "It was more of an offhand joke and then we re-explained the joke and it became another thing. But listen, I was 27 when I was with Rob. We have four kids now. Different things take centre stage. It’s not Ayda and Rob skipping along and ripping each other’s clothes off and staying up until 6am."
© Liz McAulayFamily does come first for the couple, she continues, becoming emotional while touching on the challenges they face, including the health of her mum Gwen, who has Parkinson's disease and battled cancer during the Covid-19 lockdowns.
Watch Ayda Field Williams talk about family life with Robbie Williams and self-love...
"Instead of it just being about us, it’s now about other people as well. It's about four other little humans who are important and a mom who has been facing serious health problems that are part of my everyday life. But Rob and I continue to stay incredibly connected. We spend a lot of time talking about the children or our parents, but we still connect as adults. And by the way," she adds. "We are still intimate."
© Liz McAulayAyda Field Williams and Robbie Williams's family life
Robbie, who quit Take That at the height of the boyband's global fame in 1995, is currently performing across Europe on the XXV Tour, which celebrates his 25 years as a top solo artist. Getting "us time" as parents can be tough for the couple, but in June, they managed to jet off for a romantic break in Italy without their children for the first time. "It's hard," she says. "We do take some time – we actually had a holiday for the first time, where we had four days alone without the kids. And it was amazing, because we got to be just Rob and Ayda. "It would be great to find more moments like that. But equally, if those don’t come for a bit and they’re just about our family, I’m super happy with that, too."
© Liz McAulayWhat has Ayda learned in love and marriage? She muses: "We do that thing where we never go to bed angry. I don't know if that's a lesson. It just feels energetically right. I've learned that although I'm usually right, I'm not always right. Making sure you see someone else's perspective in all things. It’s hard because we're given the perspective that we have. When you get married, you both have different perspectives and there's compromise involved in that. There is taking someone else's feelings into account and you have to get really good at sometimes stepping outside of yourself and really putting yourself in the other person's shoes. I've softened a bit on some things that I thought were absolutes or perspectives that I thought were unshakeable. When you spend that much time with someone, you start to realise there are other realities and truths that can also be correct from another angle. In the same way as being a parent, I've become a better listener, being more patient, being open minded but it's really important to not only love your partner but you really like them. Communication is our number one. Whether we do it with humour or not, we're always communicating."
© Liz McAulayWhen Ayda and Robbie do get time off, they want to spend it with their children. "Whenever I take 'me time', I feel really guilty about it, but then I remind myself: 'No, this is good. You're still a person. It's okay,'" adds Ayda. "There's some weird unspoken language when you become a parent, where you think: 'Oh, I can't, because I could be doing this with my child right now.'"
© Liz McAulayBut no matter what, the couple have each other's backs and continue to inspire the other to be the best version of themselves. Laughing, the mother of four tells us how her supportive husband often raids her wardrobe for the latest looks from her luxury activewear range, Ayda Active. "I'm genuinely proud every time Robbie steals any of my clothes from my closet. He's taken all my socks, he’s taken my varsity jacket – I actually had to have one specifically made for him. I'm really touched and chuffed every time he does that. I care what he thinks because he’s my partner. He’s got a wicked sense of fashion."
© Liz McAulayTheir daughter Teddy is already following in her dad's footsteps, she adds. "Much like her father, Theodore Rose Williams has stolen all of my clothes. She now has a varsity jacket and the sweatpants. But it made sense that she had the Teddy [design] – I did name all the pieces after my family." She is also keen to show Teddy that achieving her dreams is possible. "I love showing her mommies can be mommies as well as working mommies," she says. "She has always known me as mommy daddy's wife and mommy the actress – she loved it when I did The X Factor and she's seen that side of me. But it's also important to show her that you have to step outside your comfort zone, that it's a good thing to take risks and try new things at every stage of your life. She’s taking mental cues without saying it. I want all my children – especially my girls – to know that anything is possible and if you can dream it, it can happen."
© Liz McAulayLeading by example is important to Ayda and her four children inspire her to stay fit in her 40s. "I need to stay in shape for my kids because they are extremely active and I don’t want to be the parent who sits on a bench watching them – I want to participate," she says. "I want them to be fit and well and take care of themselves in mind, body and spirit."
Being a mum has shaped the woman Ayda is today. "I don't think I was ever selfish, but there's no opportunity to be selfish as a parent. I was a good listener before, but now I'm a better listener. It's always an exercise in patience. My sense of gratitude has become more profound because I feel grateful to have such a beautiful family. At the same time as being softer, I've found a little bit more of my lioness," she adds. "I've always been a people-pleaser, but when it comes to protecting my kids, I don’t even think about pleasing people."
© Liz McAulayAyda Field Williams’s journey on learning to love herself
Although motherhood has been a huge help, Ayda is still learning to love herself. "That's been the hardest," she says. "Loving Rob has been easy in comparison. Being a mom has been key because of unconditional love – how can you love someone unconditionally if you don't love yourself? It inevitably happens. Like grace with wellness, there’s a grace that comes with ageing. It's a constant challenge because as a woman, as someone in a public space, there are so many opportunities to listen to that little voice that says bad things to you. But I'm definitely more relaxed as I get older," she adds. "Self-love has become more and more important in my life. I wouldn't say I'm there – that would be a fallacy – but I'm in training."
© Liz McAulayHow does Ayda stop comparing herself to others? "I just know it's not healthy," she says. "I used to go for Al-Anon meetings which is for family of addicts and one of the tenants they teach you is compare and despair which is the minute you start comparing yourself, you despair. It is something I have to battle in life. For instance thinking: Why have I had an injury for a year? My friend works out for four hours a day and has no injuries. It's compare and despair. I still to this day get caught in that cycle."
She adds: "Rob is really good, he says: 'Babe you are doing that thing! Change the framework, change the framework.' That's that thing I'm talking about where your partner really can help you be a better version of yourself. We both keep each other accountable like that."
© Liz McAulayLearn how to be happier with our HELLO! Happiness hub.
Photographer: Liz McAulay
Stylist: Gayle Rinkoff
Makeup artist: Karin Darnell @ Frank Agency using Fenty Beauty
Hair: Mikey Kardashian
Ayda Active is available to purchase from shopayda.com.
Find the looks here:
AYDA X LHD FOUNDER'S LETTERMAN
