Dean McDermott is not holding back, as he opens up for the first time about what really led to his and Tori Spelling's divorce.
Earlier this year, the actor announced in a since-deleted social media post that he and the Beverly Hills, 90210 alum were going their "separate ways," after 18 years of marriage and five kids together, Liam Aaron, 16, Stella Doreen, 14, Hattie Margaret, 11, Finn Davey, ten, and Beau Dean, six.
Now, after spending months working on himself in rehab, he is taking accountability for the "pain" he inflicted in the time leading up to his split from Tori.
In a candid conversation with the Daily Mail, Dean confessed that financial troubles and his own struggles with alcohol and drug addiction left Tori and their family "petrified," and it eventually led to the dissolution of their relationship.
"All Tori's ever done to this day is want me to be happy and healthy and I inflicted a lot of damage and pain on that woman," he first maintained, declaring: "I'm taking accountability for that today. And it's the biggest amend that I'm ever going to have to make."
He then recalled: "Alcohol made me feel good enough. I started feeling good enough until it got to a point where it didn't – it ended up in isolation."
© Andrew J CunninghamDean admitted: "It ended up with me drinking a fifth of tequila every night, seven days a week, and a handful of narcos [prescription medication] by myself with a beautiful family in the other room."
MORE: Tori Spelling's estranged husband Dean McDermott, 56, spotted kissing new girlfriend Lily Calo, 32
Ultimately, he shared: "That's what it led to and that's what led to the brokenness and to what happened between me and Tori," adding: "I couldn't do it anymore. I couldn't live that life anymore. I was tired of the anger and the yelling."
© Stefanie KeenanFurther, he acknowledged: "It's going to be living the rest of my life making amends because I took something that was really beautiful and I just tore it down year after year, day after day."
Today, Dean is sober, and dating girlfriend Lily Calo. Though he told the outlet he has not seen Tori nor their kids since the end of June, he shared he has started communication with his ex again via text, and hopes to reunite with his kids soon.
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