Jennifer Lopez doesn't care who thinks she's crazy for it – be it critics, fans, friends, or her own team and husband Ben Affleck – she is determined to tell her story, more specifically, her love story.
The "Jenny From the Block" singer is well aware she's seen as a serial romantic, and not only is she embracing it, but she is turning it into what she hopes is a "defining piece of work" in her life, one that cost her $20 million of her own money.
This Valentine's week (of course) the multi-hyphenate entertainer is exposing her love life like never before, in three parts: her new album, This Is Me… Now, out on February 16, a "surrealistic, fantastical" musical film, This Is Me… Now: A Love Story, out the same day, plus a documentary about the making of the film, out on February 27.
Ahead of the triple release, Jennifer – along with her disclaimer, "By the way, I thought I was crazy," – opened up to Variety about the risky decision to tell her story, and candidly revealed the many hurdles and objections she faced from her team and celebrity friends alike.
Explaining why she's adamant about sharing some of the most private details about her past and current relationships, as well as her failures, the Hustlers actress first looked back at her 2003 break-up from Ben, three days before their wedding, and shared: "Our relationship crumbled under the weight of the pressure," adding: "We lost a sense of ourselves, and we needed to separate because we didn't know how to survive it. I had to figure myself out, and he had to figure himself out."
Now it has been 20 years, and she further explained: "I've been on this journey, and I've been trying to figure it out… Now I feel like because Ben and I have rediscovered each other – and now that we're married – I have something to offer. This is the defining piece of work that's going to close that chapter so I can move on to the next part of my life."
She maintained: "It's like, 'OK, so now I'm in a healthier, more loving, good relationship. I've gotten to this place where I feel more whole, to be more present in a relationship.' But what is that like? I get to live that, and that's even more challenging than the last 20 years."
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Still, though her intention is clear, and she certainly has plenty of stories to tell, it didn't void her from facing skepticism from even those closest to her. Variety quoted Jane Fonda – who has been close to Jennifer since they filmed Monster-in-Law in 2005 – relaying to her through her team: "I believe that everyone in the entire world is pulling for this relationship and this love. And the idea of how you present that is so sacrosanct, so important. It should be handled in a way that you aren't overly flaunting it, so much so that it creates any form of criticism or resentment."
She also appears in the documentary telling Jennifer herself that while she is genuinely rooting for her and Ben, she can't help but feel the project is "absurd," and explained: "It feels too much like you're trying to prove something instead of just living it. You know, every other photograph is the two of you kissing and the two of you hugging."
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Jennifer's longtime producing partner, Elaine Goldsmith-Thomas, felt the same way, plus, after learning of her plans to finance it herself, she recalled thinking: "I don't even know what it is. What are you doing?" and further said: "I was worried. 'Why are you sharing your story? It's too personal. Stop it.' It made me uncomfortable for her."
Importantly, Ben – whose love letters to his wife were used for content, is much more private, and has earned several awards for his directorial work – has since given his stamp of approval for all three of the projects, and Jennifer said: "Honestly, I don't care what happens now. That is the biggest kind of compliment that I could get."
Moreover, she ultimately stated: "I think when you put out any project, you get to a point in your life where you're not doing it for every single person in the world to have the most beautiful opinion of it," declaring: "But I do think this is a beautiful project. The message is strong and the message is true. I think it's a true piece of art, and I'm very proud of it."
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