Billie Eilish is keeping her cards close to her chest after the release of her album Hit Me Hard and Soft, which has received immense acclaim for her vulnerability and also its production.
The 22-year-old opened up about experiencing the ups and downs of relationships and her newfound queer identity on the album without diving into specifics, but is taking the time to be more candid in the weeks since.
The singer appears on the latest cover of Interview Magazine, interviewed by none other than Lana Del Rey, and the two spoke about everything from the meaning of "Chihiro" to embracing romance and narratives in the spotlight.
Lana, 38, asked Billie whether the end of relationships left her with more questions, or her partner, or it was more of a 50-50 situation, and the "Birds of a Feather" singer concurred that it was probably the latter.
"I think 50-50 is probably accurate. I literally hate who I am so much when I'm in love," she shared. "I have a power issue and a control issue, and I also don't like being vulnerable in a romantic way."
Billie continued to reveal: "I think there's different versions of love, and I think that you can be in love and it might not be deep. I'm not going to get too in detail, because I'm going to be rude, but I've never been dumped, and also, I've never been broken up with. I've only done the breaking up."
The singer has, in her years in the public eye, rarely ever placed emphasis on her romantic relationships, her only public romance coming from her brief relationship with musician Jesse Rutherford, who is nearly a decade her senior.
Billie defended the notion of stating that she only ever did the breaking up, adding: "I think when people hear that, they're like, 'Oh, all you do is break hearts.' Sure, but that doesn't mean that people are totally innocent. It means that I was like, 'Oh, let me get the [expletive] out of here.'"
She prefaced her following statements by joking that some readers could be "real mad at me," elaborating on how she felt that the feeling of having to end things with someone you care about was honestly comparable in pain to being broken up with.
"I do believe that breaking up with someone versus being broken up with — obviously being broken up with hurts like hell, especially when you don't see it coming and you wanted a future and it's taken out of your hands."
"But honestly, the pain of knowing that you have to end something with somebody that you genuinely love is so horrible," she added. "And you don't get to even have the, like, 'I got dumped, so [expletive] you guys. I get to go crazy and have a reaction and be mad at you. And I get to make you into an enemy, because you broke up with me.' You can't do that. You can't become a victim."
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She ended the train of thought by detailing more of how she weaved that into the album itself, explaining that everybody is allowed to have their feelings, and that's better to highlight than pointing the finger at someone.