Madonna is mourning the loss of her stepmother, Joan Ciccone, who passed away on September 24 after a brief but aggressive battle with cancer. Joan, who had a complicated relationship with the iconic singer, died peacefully in the early hours, leaving behind a legacy of love, devotion, and community spirit, as noted in her obituary.
Joan married Madonna's father, Silvio "Tony" Ciccone, in 1966, just a few years after the devastating death of Madonna’s mother, Madonna Fortin.
Tony’s decision to marry Joan, who had been the family’s housekeeper, led to years of tension between Madonna and her stepmother. Joan’s passing brings an end to a life dedicated to family, children, and her local community, where she was known for her warmth and generosity.
Madonna, 65, has often spoken about the difficult relationship she had with Joan, particularly during her teenage years.
Raised in a strict Catholic household, Madonna chafed under the household rules imposed by Joan. In a 2002 interview, the Like a Virgin singer shared that her stepmother ran a deeply religious household where Madonna was forbidden from using tampons and subjected to other strict rules. At the time, these limitations fuelled Madonna's teenage rebellion, contributing to years of estrangement between her and her family.
In past interviews, Madonna has been open about her resentment towards her father’s remarriage, feeling it happened too soon after her mother’s passing. She admitted that she struggled to accept Joan as a maternal figure, a challenge made even more difficult by the fact that Joan entered her life just three years after she lost her mother. In a 2015 interview with Howard Stern, Madonna confessed that the adjustment was particularly painful, saying, "It was tough to accept a new woman in my life after losing my mom."
However, over time, Madonna’s stance toward Joan softened. In a revealing 2002 interview with Larry King, the singer admitted that she may have been unfair in her treatment of her stepmother in her youth.
"She was trying," Madonna reflected, acknowledging Joan's efforts to step into a challenging role as stepmother to a grieving young girl. Despite their early difficulties, it’s clear that there was some reconciliation between the two over the years.
The complicated emotions surrounding her relationship with Joan even found their way into Madonna’s music. In her song Mother and Father, from her 2003 album American Life, the singer touches on themes of abandonment, betrayal, and the emotional struggles she endured following her mother’s death and her father’s remarriage. The song's raw lyrics provide a window into the pain Madonna felt during those formative years, and it’s believed that Joan’s influence is woven throughout the narrative of the song.
Joan’s life, meanwhile, was one of service and dedication to children and family. For over two decades, she ran a daycare, where she provided care and guidance for countless children in the community.
She later moved with Tony to Suttons Bay, Michigan, where the couple established the Ciccone Vineyard and Winery, a successful venture that further anchored them in their local community.
Known for her love of fashion and antiques, Joan was a vibrant presence in Suttons Bay, where she volunteered at local events and was deeply involved in community activities. Her obituary described her as a woman who brought "enthusiasm, joy, and love" to those around her, qualities that endeared her to family and friends alike. In addition to Tony, Joan is survived by seven children, including Madonna, and many grandchildren, all of whom remember her for her warmth and vibrant spirit.
Joan’s passing marks the end of an era for the Ciccone family. Madonna has often spoken about her strained relationship with her father, particularly during the years following his marriage to Joan.
In a 1985 interview with Time magazine, Madonna famously compared herself to Cinderella, alluding to the difficulties she faced in adjusting to her father’s remarriage. "It was like living in a fairytale, but I was Cinderella," she said, expressing the pain and confusion she felt as a young girl trying to navigate her grief and the arrival of a new maternal figure.