I've always been a Pete Doherty apologist. When people said he ruined one of the best bands of all time, I suggested his Libertines bandmate, Carl Barat, was equally to blame. When he turned up late for gigs, I reasoned he probably had a good excuse and when he broke into Carl's flat and was subsequently jailed, I suggested perhaps he was just very hurt by his friend's behaviour, and perhaps we could let him off.
In his new documentary, Peter Doherty: A Stranger In My Own Skin, all the excuses I made for Pete were proved true. But equally, it showed that he has always been shambolic, argumentative and disrespectful. And yet, people still love him. But after watching it, I'm not sure I do.
What happens in Peter Doherty: A Stranger In My Own Skin?
The film features 200 hours of exclusive footage, shot by Pete Doherty's wife, Katia. It covers the early days of The Libertines right up to the present day, and even gives a glimpse of Pete's rarely-seen son, Astile, who he shares with Lisa Moorish. Watch the trailer for the documentary below...
Viewers get an unfiltered look at the musician's life, with graphic scenes of him taking heroin included, which I found difficult to watch. Pete heartbreakingly said of his military background, "I wasn't allowed to be part of reality, so I made my own," and the film certainly shows that he lives in his own world, with his own rules.
In one scene, the Babyshambles musician is seen trailing petrol around the home he lived in in Marlborough, before setting it alight and watching the flames tear through the property.
In another, he tells his cats he doesn't have any cat food for them, before feeding them fresh fish that he's eating himself, explaining: "If it's good enough for me, it's good enough for you."
A third scene shows Pete stuck on a train in the middle of nowhere in France, trying his best to get to Paris for a gig. Ultimately he doesn’t make it, but when he does arrive in the French capital, he makes up for it by playing in a packed pub at 2am for fans who waited for him.
But then, he ends up swearing at them for talking during his set, negating the kind gesture. Such is the duality of him. He wants to be good to his fans and thank them for their support, but in the same set, ends up abusing them.
A heartbreaking scene sees Pete fret about being sent to jail the next day, knowing the abuse he'll get behind bars, but he seems unable to help himself.
Another emotional clip sees the star sell off personal possessions, including art he worked on with Amy Winehouse, his iconic Libertines military jackets and a vintage writing desk. The sale was to raise funds for him to go to rehab in Thailand, but then it cuts to him missing his flight out there several times, and you begin to feel nothing but frustrated by him.
He eventually makes it to Thailand where he films his ten-month stay in rehab including troubling clips of him rambling during withdrawal, to heartwarming footage of him finding his way out the other side with Katia supporting him.
My opinion of the Libertines star now
Pete says he has a "need for frenzy and chaos," asking fans: "Fancy a game of havoc?" but his friends in the documentary describe him as a "nice guy – nicer than most you'll meet." In some scenes, his natural charm and magnetism shine through and you can tell why he was such a bright light in the music industry and why he drew people to him.
In others, he appears chaotic and a nightmare to be around, resulting in my long-standing adoration starting to fade.
The film depicts how Pete's addiction has impacted his life and the lives of those around him. His partner paints him in an unsympathetic manner, and I felt incredibly frustrated with him most of the time.
But then in rare moments among the irritation, his charisma shines through and you remember why he's so divisive - an irresistible blend of charm and chaos. While my rose-tinted glasses have been well and truly removed by the documentary, I can't help but still feel fond of him.
Peter Doherty: A Stranger In My Own Skin is out now