Sex Education star Alistair Petrie is supporting the Big Give campaign for Borne, a charity that does research into the prevention of premature birth. The actor and his wife, Lucy Scott, have personal experience with the realities of welcoming preemie babies, with their twins being born at 30 weeks. Cal and Brodie weighed 3lbs and 4lbs at the time, and medical professionals weren’t sure if they would survive.
Speaking about the very difficult time in their lives, Alistair told HELLO!: "The hardest time was me having to ask a consultant if one of the boys was going to die after he developed breathing complications - the hardest question I’ve ever asked anyone in my life.
"The answer was as hard to hear: a pause and then ‘I don’t know’. It was a question that had to be asked because it wasn’t looking good and treatment wasn’t working to help his damaged lungs. If we can remove the phrase ‘I don’t know’ within any conversation surrounding premature birth, we are starting to succeed."
Thankfully, their twin sons, now 20, are both very well. "Cal and Brodie are wonderful," Alistair said. "Tall, healthy, generous, funny, kind young men growing into adulthood. I couldn’t be prouder. Or more grateful. Or more determined. This isn’t about us any more. It’s about no other babies being Born Too Soon. And how we get there."
He explained: "As a parent who went through this, you need real resilience and strength. It’s a totally emotional washing machine. But you need help too. If friends and family can help you navigate the practicalities of day-to-day life too - great. So often - too often - when people ask ‘how are you?’, we say ‘we’re fine’. But we can’t be strong all the time. Help will be there; just use a tiny ounce of that resilience and strength to ask for it."
Alistair also spoke about the staff’s kindness while the twins were in the hospital, explaining: "The kindness displayed by the NHS staff in the ICU and HDU at The Chelsea and Westminster Hospital moves me to this day. We were there in the hospital all day and left our babies to return home, get some sleep and be with our toddler elder son for bath and bedtime. He needed us too. It didn’t feel odd leaving the babies behind in the hospital each late afternoon because we knew they were in loving, warm and wonderful clinical care overnight. I’ll never forget them. "
Speaking about what advice he would give parents going through something similar, he continued: "My advice is to ask questions of the nurses and doctors. If you’re not sure, ask. Do not blame yourself for what is happening and definitely don’t blame your partner for a premature birth. Deal with what is in front of you on a day-to-day basis. Work together. Support each other. And, as we did, if you have an older child, be present for them. They need you too."
Speaking of the good that he had seen the charity do, he added: "Borne has such a selfless commitment and determination to find answers. Pre-term birth is responsible for 1 in 5 fatalities of children under 5 years old and it’s the biggest cause of child disabilities. It’s unacceptable - there’s not been nearly enough funding to find out why.
"Extending preterm labour by a single week, would save governments hundreds of millions each year and so much needless pain, guilt and grief. The ‘good’ I see Borne doing is a relentless determination and long-term commitment to ending premature births. The Charity’s long-term planning and structure is so well thought through. This is no vanity project. It matters. Nothing is wasted. Money raised is money spent on vital research. Every penny counts. And things are happening, research is happening, answers will come but there’s so much to discover."
His ultimate desire for the charity? "I simply want what Borne wants: to see no child Born Too Soon."
Donate to Borne through Big Give here, and they will double your donation