What's dating and sex like post-menopause for Candace Bushnell, a.k.a. the original Carrie Bradshaw? "Personally I have so many stories because I am on a couple of dating apps. One week I went out with a 21 year old and a 91 year old!" the Sex and the City creator told guests at HELLO! and No7’s Let's Talk Menopause afternoon tea on Wednesday, October 18.
The journalist, producer, and bestselling author of the iconic 1996 book Sex and the City – the basis for the beloved HBO series and all that followed — shared her experiences of menopause and helped break taboos around post-menopause sex. Candace spoke candidly about the dating habits within her social circle of post-menopausal women, and confided that she and her friends feel "smarter and more courageous" than ever before.
But post-menopause sex — or lack thereof — is different for all women, she pointed out. "Some women, they're done with sex, they don't care. They had a lot of sex that they didn't want to have because they wanted to keep that guy and now they're like. ‘I'm done, I'm free, I'm so happy.’" she said. "But there are other women I know who had stuck with the same guy who didn't have much of a sex drive, and they didn't get to explore their own sex drive, so they get divorced and now they're having a lot of sex."
“Menopause affects a lot of things, it affects the way we feel about relationships, it affects the way we feel about ourselves,” she continued. “It's really a reset and I think it's a positive. Women in general are valued for their ability to reproduce, but the world is really changing. Menopause is really a vibrant time in one's life when you can be free of those things that were so constraining as a woman when you were younger.
The panel discussion was held at the Whitby in New York City on World Menopause Day, welcoming menopause advocates and prominent influencers among its guests, including The Real Housewives of New York City star Kelly Bensimon, and New York Times best-selling author Amy Odell (Anna: The Biography).
Mind coach Poppy Delbridge opened the afternoon with an invigorating rapid tapping session, before welcoming HELLO! U.S.'s Beauty and Wellness Editor Donna Francis to moderate a panel featuring Candace plus co-founder of national non-profit Let’s Talk Menopause Donna Klassen, certified psychiatrist and medical board member for Let’s Talk Menopause Dr. Judith Joseph, and board-certified dermatologist & TV medical expert Dr. Tess Mauricio, aka "America’s favorite dermatologist" who counts celebrities like Khloe Kardashian and Paula Abdul as clients.
Building on the success of HELLO!’s UK Menopause Workplace Pledge, the media brand collaborated with U.S. non-profit campaign group, Let’s Talk Menopause to support its mission to spark a conversation around menopause, and to help give women information they need to demand the healthcare they deserve.
Menopause is a biological inevitability that half the world’s population will experience. In America right now, approximately 75 million women are in the midst of perimenopause, menopause, or post-menopause.
Despite these stats and the ubiquity of this rite of passage, menopause remains a subject that comes with taboo, shame, confusion, and misinformation. Menopause means so much more than hot flashes. It can affect our sleep, our libido, our energy levels, and our skin – the latter of which No7, the UK’s best kept beauty secret, is aiming to address with its Menopause Skincare collection expertly designed to target menopause skin changes resulting from reduced estrogen.
A prevalent theme of the afternoon: Menopause is something to be celebrated. "It's a time when you find other aspects of your personality that have been neglected that you can really explore," Candace mused.
Said panelist and psychiatrist Dr. Judith Joseph: "We need to educate ourselves when it comes to menopause: read a book, listen to a blog, find community. Because if you don't know, start learning and then when you have you arm yourself with the knowledge, you know what to ask your doctor.”
Added Let's Talk Menopause's co-founder Donna Klassen: "Women have been under-researched, our health care has been underfunded.
Women were not actually in research studies until the early nineties!”
