For as long as I can remember, my friends have been the centre of my universe. Romantic relationships come and go, but friends stay.
I had an unusual life growing up. Starting in a band at the age of 12 and leaving school, I could have easily lost contact with my mates, but that was never an option for me. What’s the point of success without someone to share it with?
My friends have always reaped the benefits of my career. The free drinks on nights out, hand-me-downs and concerts. I haven’t always been able to be at every birthday or celebration and I haven’t always been sat beside my phone available to chat, but for my friends and I, there’s no pressure. We could not talk for days or weeks and pick up where we left off.
I’ve known my group of friends from Essex, where I grew up, since birth or school. We’ve known each other since before life really got started. Before work, travelling, uni, new friends, serious relationships and traumas. It means we just get each other, no questions asked.
I have three close guy mates and four girls - five if we include my sister, because over the years she has become just as close to my group of mates as I am. We don’t have any dramas, no one’s bitching about anyone (believe me, I’ve been around circles that still do that!) and there’s an understanding and a no judgment, we can rationalise any disagreement. We never just tell each other what we want to hear. Truth is key.
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I moved from Essex to Surrey when I met Wayne. I was about 22, and I was still working a lot, so never had time to make friends in my new area. I was never there much, but once I had my first son, Parker, at 24, I suddenly realised I had no one around me. My mates from home weren’t at that point in their lives, so it was pretty lonely.
Making friends as an adult is hard. You don’t know each other from scratch and that foundation is so important to me, so I struggled.
I went to lots of baby groups and the women either seemed so much older than me or were really unfriendly. I remember going to a baby massage class and forgetting the oil. A group of mums could see I had none and were all sharing between them, but not one of them offered me any.
I felt like I was back at primary school and was so shocked that even as we get older, people still act this way.
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It took me about two years to meet any new friends, but luckily for me, one of Wayne’s old friends' wives was having a baby at the same time as I was having Carter.
All her other kids were much older, so she had no one to do baby things with, so we started hanging out and that was it; we clicked.
She introduced me to a lovely group of women and I’ve been friends with them ever since.
Some are older than me, we all have different jobs and lifestyles, but we’re all on the same page. I’m so grateful to have them.
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Since the boys have started school, I’ve made more friends. This took time too; it’s hard to find the mums that you have more in common with than just the fact that your kids go to the same school.
Luckily, I’ve found a great handful of women who are unapologetically themselves and I'm able to have more than surface-level conversations with them, which is so important to me. I don’t want to talk about the weather. I want to know how my friends are, how they truly are.
I’ve never had many friends in the same industry as me. I meet new people all the time and have worked with the same people regularly over the years. Being in the industry for as long as I have, it’s nice to see familiar faces.
However, being busy makes it hard to take those acquaintances much further. To be honest, I love that most of my friends do something completely different to me when it comes to work.
None of them really ask what I’ve been doing. Obviously, they’re proud and will always congratulate me on things, but we don’t sit and talk about their jobs either. Unless it’s to moan or again, congratulate.
Obviously, having been in two bands, I do have 11 former bandmates that are like family.
I may not always see or talk to them, but I know we all have each other's backs. We’ve all experienced something together that only those involved can really understand.
It’s special a bond like no other. Being in two pop groups teaches you a lot about relationships.
You’re with each other every day, high on success or totally exhausted. It’s intense. There are a lot of different people's feelings and opinions to navigate.
I’ve learned over the years to try and see things from two sides and that sometimes a good cry or hug is all someone needs. Answers and fixing aren’t often what people want.
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Being on Strictly and I’m A Celeb was a similar bonding experience. You have a connection that only those involved understand. You’ve been through something together. I’ve made great friends from both shows with people that I may never have got to know otherwise.
The same with being on the Loose Women panel. I love those women. I get to laugh and cry with them. We share stories and opinions with each other that we would never get to with other people.
That crossover from work colleague to friend has always happened throughout my career, but mainly with my immediate team.
In S Club Juniors, because we were so young, our team was small and stayed the same throughout. I’m still close to so many of them. They were like family and a huge part of my growing up.
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My team now is an equally big part of my life. They’ve seen me at my lowest and at my best. We are each other's champions and we all look out for each other. We deeply care. We all have the same goal and what happens in my career directly impacts theirs.
If something is a success for me, it’s a success for all of us. We probably spend more time together than we do with our family or friends, so it’s important to me that we all get on and enjoy our days together. Otherwise, what’s the point?
Honesty is important to me in friendship. I want to know how my friends really are and I want to be able to tell hem how I really am. That’s what friends are for. Laughter with my friends is the best medicine. I love that I can be 100 per cent myself around them.
Moral of the story, keep your good friends close.
As well as writing my column this month, I dusted off my walking boots and headed to Hadrian's Wall with the absolutely brilliant team at CoppaFeel! I trekked alongside Giovanna Fletcher and a group of truly inspiring women. It's such an important cause, raising essential funding and awareness for breast cancer. Donate here.