We've all heard of triggers, something that causes painful or unpleasant memories to resurface, but what about the altogether lovelier sibling of triggers, the glimmer?
Recognising our glimmers can help us nurture our nervous systems, taking us out of the fight or flight mode that triggers throw us into, and helping to improve our mood. But what are glimmers, and how can they make us happier?
Psychotherapist and trauma therapist Lauren Baird explains all there is to know about glimmers, and why they're an essential element of your mental health toolkit.
What is a glimmer?
The concept of glimmers was coined by Deb Dana, a psychotherapist specialising in complex trauma. She explains that glimmers are the micro moments in your day that spark a sense joy and wellbeing.
Glimmers are the opposite of triggers. Glimmers tell your nervous system that you are safe and well in the world. This tends to feel good in our bodies, creating a gentle, warm shift within. Often glimmers can pass right by us without us really taking note of them.
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What are examples of glimmers?
A glimmer might be smelling coffee as it brews, stroking and snuggling a pet, spotting an animal outdoors, hearing a song on the radio you love or a stranger giving you a warm smile.
These little micro-moments act like a gentle hug to our nervous system, helpings us feel safe, present, connected and moving us out of that self-critical place, to a more soothing place.
Are glimmers hard to find?
We all have a negativity bias, meaning we tend to focus on negative things, so glimmers can often pass right by without us savouring them.
Therefore, with glimmers, it’s important we pay attention when they show up and sit with the pleasant feelings and sensations they bring.
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The more we spotlight glimmers, the better able we are to activate the rest and relax branch of our nervous system. This moves us out of our self-critical mind and into moments of inner calm where we feel connected to ourselves and others, which has a positive impact on our wellbeing.
When I drive home from work, just before I turn onto my street, I see a big, towering mountain. It always looks different, depending on the weather and seasons. This mountain signals to me: you’re home. It’s a glimmer moment. I feel my shoulders drop, a tingling in my tummy and a soft smile coming over my face. This big mountain tells my nervous system 'you’re safe.'
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How to spot your glimmers – and make the most of them
1. Keep a journal of your triggers and glimmers:
This helps you notice with intention what activates your threat response AND what activates those micro-moments of safety. Once you know this you can consider what in your life you need to go towards and away from.
2. Savour glimmer moments
When a glimmer occurs stop and lap it up. Notice the emotions, thoughts, how it feels in your body and savour the moment.
When we repeatedly move the spotlight to glimmers, our nervous system becomes more flexible and can move between different states more easily, instead of being stuck in survival mode.
3. Go glimmer hunting
Don't wait for glimmers to come to you, go looking for them! Set a goal of finding one to four glimmers a day. Find a number that feels manageable for you.
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4. Notice nice smells
Create a menu of smells that feel nourishing, such as an essential oil or candle, your favourite perfume or a pillow spray
5. Listen to music
Curate a playlist that ignites those goose bump, feel-good glimmers. Songs that bring amazing memories to mind are brilliant glimmers.
6. Cultivate meaningful connections
Notice the people that feel good and nurturing to be around, and those that trigger you. Consciously connect with those that activate a sense of calm and warmth.
6. Snuggle with a pet
Notice if cuddling your pet sparks a glow within. Does stroking their fur, hearing the sounds they make and the heat of their bodies alight a glimmer?
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Click here for your FREE Getting to know your Glimmers Ebook and sign up to Lauren's course on managing your emotions here.
