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How to practice gratitude for a happier life: an expert's guide

 From how to practice gratitude every morning, to what to put on a gratitude list, here's everything you need to know about living a grateful life

Melanie Macleod
Wellness Editor
July 21, 2023
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Feeling grateful is key to living a happier life. When we're thankful, even for the littlest things in our lives, we see an uptick in both our wellbeing and happiness.

That said, on grey days when nothing is going your way, it can be difficult to feel grateful, which is why we need to make gratitude a habit in order for it to lift our moods.

We spoke to people who practice gratitude on a daily basis about how they got into the habit – take notes!

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Daily gratitude practice can make us happier

Why does feeling grateful make us happy?

Being grateful helps you focus on the positives

"When you’re reminded to think of the smallest things that make you happy, even on days when nothing 'life changing' has occurred, you start to notice the beauty around you," says wellness PR Tori Porter, who practices gratitude daily.

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"The practice of repeating gratitude daily rewires your brain to naturally jump to the positives," she continues.

“When you think about what there is to be thankful for, you might smile, or feel a warm fuzzy feeling and that instantly boosts your mood,” Tori says. 

The shift from focusing on the negatives to the positives is hugely uplifting, she explains and if you practice gratitude daily, you’ll create a habit around thinking of the positives in life and that optimism makes us happier. 

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Feeling grateful can increase our resilience

Gratitude can set the tone for the day

"When I don’t practice gratitude in the morning, I feel rushed, more anxious and irritable, as I roll out of bed and straight into the working day," says nutritionist and holistic health coach Joan Abebe.

"Whereas when I do practice, I feel level-headed, fulfilled and see more joy in my day, as my eyes are more open to the little things that I really appreciate."

Gratitude stops us taking things for granted

Feeling grateful for the little things, be it a sunny day, a warm bed or a delicious meal, stops us taking things for granted and increases our baseline level of happiness. 

Being grateful for little blessings in our lives also stops us from focusing on what we’re missing in life, as transformation coach Aysha Bell explains: “When we're in a state of gratitude we're less likely to be thinking about what we don't have.”

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Appreciating the small things in our lives can make us happier

Life coach Phil Drinkwater agrees, adding: “Gratitude helps us focus on what we have instead of what we don't. It's important because our minds tend to lead us to whatever we focus our attention on. If we constantly lack gratitude, we may become generally dissatisfied with our lives, which is a challenge to pull ourselves back from.”

If you’re thinking about how happy you are to live in a warm house, with cosy surroundings, you’re unlikely to be dwelling on the fact you don’t have the log burner you covet, for example. Or if you focus on your fantastic colleagues and interesting project, you’re less likely to envy the promotion your friend got. 

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“If we can be grateful, we spend more time experiencing positive emotions rather than being afraid or jealous of what we don't have,” Phil adds, while Aysha confirms: “If we're able to train ourselves to be grateful for what we have, it changes the brain chemistry and fires the neurotransmitters in the brain that produce dopamine and serotonin.”

Gratitude puts life in perspective 

Gratitude for mini blessings puts things into perspective, as Jo Howarth, founder of The Happiness Club says: “My daily practice of gratitude has had a significant impact on my happiness,” she says. “Prior to my gratitude practice, I could easily allow one bad thing to overshadow everything else. 

“Now, it helps me put things into perspective. For example, the train being cancelled might have made my journey stressful but my day was not ruined. The sun was shining and I had a nice chat with a friend.

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Gratitude can invoke feelings of happiness

“I now focus on not only the big stuff that makes me happy, but on the small things too, and I see so much kindness and joy around me,” Jo adds. 

Gratitude increases resilience

“When we are grateful for what we have, especially during difficult times, it increases our baseline level of happiness,” says gratitude expert Liis Hainla of Vegan Avenue.

“This is because when we start from a stable place – no matter how low that base may be – everything becomes easier to handle due to increased optimism and decreased negativity

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“Not only does gratitude lead to a happier life, it also makes us more resilient in the face of difficult situations,” Liis adds. 

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Try to make gratitude into a daily habit to feel happier

Gratitude can help ease depression

“Gratitude is everything when it comes to emerging from anxiety and depression,” says wellbeing expert Janey-Lee Grace, a sentiment which Aysha agrees with.

"I've suffered badly with depression and anxiety and I've been diagnosed with bipolar, I've been really down and there was a time when it was difficult to find positive things,” she shares. “Listing the tiniest things I achieved during that time helped with gratitude. 

“At my lowest point I volunteered with people in terrible situations, and it made me go home and realise although I wasn't doing great, I was actually quite lucky,” she says. 

“I took a second in the morning to look around, and even though I wasn't happy with everything I had, I recognised I was much luckier than a lot of people in the world.” 

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How to practice gratitude every morning

Keep a gratitude journal

One of the most popular ways to practice gratitude is to keep a gratitude or positivity journal, noting down the things you're grateful for.

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A gratitude journal can help you make gratitude a daily habit

Joan Abebe uses a journal each morning for her gratitude list. "I like to start each day by setting aside five to ten minutes to make sure my gratitude practice is the first thing I do," Joan says. "Before I reach for my phone in the morning, I use the ‘Five Minute Journal’ which is on my nightstand, take a deep breath and list three things that I am grateful for. 

"The journal prompts you with what to write, rather than a blank page in a journal which can be overwhelming," Joan adds.

A positivity journal is one of manifesting expert Roxie Nafousi's favourite ways to practice gratitude too, though she prefers to fill hers in in the evening.

"Write down every good thing that happened in your day, no matter how big or small, in chronological order," Roxie advises.

"I suggest doing it every night before bed. It helps you to see how many beautiful moments we get to experience every day and trains our brains to focus on the good."

Find out more of Roxie's advice for practicising gratitute in her book Manifest: 7 Steps to Living Your Best Life.

What to put on your gratitude list

If you're new to gratitude lists, you might struggle with what to write on it, but Roxie has a few words of wisdom regarding what to put on your gratitude list.

"There are endless things you could put on your gratitude list!" she enthuses. "It can be anything from universal things, such as the seasons/the sound of the birds, to things in your life, such as your home, your friends, to things about yourself such as your courage or your resilience."

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Feeling gratitude can make us happier

We also spoke to neuroscientist Dr. Tara Swart about what to put on a gratitude list, and she noted they could become repetitive and feel like a chore if you write the same things every day, so it's about being creative and looking both internally and externally.

"I was doing a daily list of 10 things I was grateful for, and I did this for over a year so I felt like I was saying a lot of the same things over again," says Dr. Tara.

"To add variety, I started to go inwards to my personal attributes or ones I admired in others and then it became like a toolkit of resources that I could draw on when I needed to."

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Try to include things about yourself, such as your patience, your ability to listen or your calm nature, or Tara's suggestions included: "Your creativity, resilience, empathy, vulnerability, ability to ask for help, generosity of spirit, optimism, relationships, health and sense of humour."

Externally, think about everything that happened to you that day and even in the dullest day, you'll find things to be grateful for – maybe you got a seat on a normally busy train, the drive to work was traffic free, your favourite band released a new song, the rain stopped for your walk home or your dinner was extra tasty.

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Taking a moment to feel grateful each day can make us happier

Try to vary your gratitude list each day to keep it from becoming just one more thing on your to-do list.

Joan Abebe gave her ideas for what to write on a gratitude list too. "It can also be really simple things that we often take for granted and overlook such as our sense of smell, or mobility. When you’re ill you often think to yourself ‘I wish I could feel better.'

"I try to think of these instances when I don’t have what I want, and that is something I will put in my journal. A lot of them will seem very basic, but they’re huge when we don’t have them."

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How to make journaling fun

Think of your journaling as a moment of self-care, something to look forward to. Osteopath Nadia Alibhai shared that she lights a candle and gets cosy to do her journaling to make it feel like a treat.

The sense of achievement your gratitude journal gives you will also make it fun, as Joan explains. "At the end of the day, I take a moment to reflect on my day and the positive experiences and accomplishments I’ve had, which means I go to sleep harbouring a sense of contentment and gratitude for what my day has brought me.

"It also allows me to sleep better, as I feel thankful for what I have achieved and it challenges me for the next day. Examples of what I list before bed can include ‘I’m grateful I went for a walk as I wanted the fresh air’ etc."

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Deciding what to write on your gratitude list is a key part of practicing gratitude

If a gratitude list doesn't appeal, read on for other ways to be grateful every day….

How to be grateful

Join a gratitude group

If you struggle to keep up with journaling, Tori had the clever idea of setting up a gratitude WhatsApp group with friends, where instead of scrolling on social media first thing, participants sent over what they were grateful for each morning. 

“Gratitude has made such a difference to me when practiced daily, but it often falls by the wayside,” Tori says. “The group worked out better than I imagined, as people would share throughout the day and that meant that whenever I go onto WhatsApp, I’m reminded to think what I’m grateful for.

Inject gratitude into the mundane

Psychotherapist Anna Mathur says that being grateful for even seemingly tedious errands can make you happier.

"Switch I've got to' to 'I get to'," Anna says. "For example, 'I#ve got to do the food shopping' turns into 'I get to do the food shopping,' drawing your attention to the privilege of that moment and giving you a boost of happy hormones."

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Celebrate mini achievements

“Gratitude helps you identify successes that may otherwise go overlooked and can raise your energy levels and emotional positivity as you ride that momentum,” says therapist and coach TJ Gibbs.

“I injured my knee and was disappointed to no longer be able to dance, but I focused on being grateful to be able to climb stairs again, being able to stand and eventually dance at a friend’s wedding for the first time in two years,” TJ shared. “Acknowledging my gratitude for these mini goals kept me going.”

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Revisit the past

Aysha points out that it can be difficult to feel gratitude when you’re low, but even recalling times you’ve felt grateful in the past can make you feel happier.

“Your brain doesn't know the difference between when you're genuinely feeling grateful and when you're locking onto a grateful memory,” she explains. “Tap into a happy memory to give you the feeling of gratitude.”

Spending time outside benefits our happiness© Shutterstock
Gratitude is an easy way to feel happier

Phil approves of this method too. “Try to remember times in your life when you felt abundant, content, or proud,” he says. “This can be useful in changing our mood in the moment and motivate us to take additional positive steps to improve our lives.”

Combat negative thoughts with gratitude

Every time a negative thought pops into your head, shoot it down with three positive ones. For example, if you're hating your morning run, remind yourself how lucky you are to own trainers, to be fit enough to run and to have somewhere it's safe to run.

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