I've been known to spend hours on even the tiniest decisions. From which exercise class to book, to which train to catch, to when to wash my hair, decisions that come easily to my friends seem to float around my brain for hours on end, taking up more space in my mind than feels reasonable.
Strangely, big decisions such as moving house, changing jobs or big purchases don't trouble me, and I'm willing to jump in headfirst. It's just the tiny day-to-day decisions I can't land on.
Determined to become a more decisive person, I booked a session with transformation coach Mhairi Todd, who specialises in helping women overcome roadblocks in their life.
Mhairi and I chatted about my struggles with decisions, and she asked how I fare with big decisions, small decisions, and how I'd respond to a friend wanting advice. She asked about my lifestyle, how busy I am and how I prioritise things.
I explained that even with tiny decisions, such as which gym class to attend after work, I mull over every eventuality – what I'd need to pack, which train I'd have to book to make it, whether they have hairdryers, if the top I want to wear was clean and if I'd be tired the next day, and so on, endlessly.
Mhairi quicky noted that I seem sure of myself, and confident in my own abilities, which made it clear that it's the small decisions that are the anomaly. She had the measure of me incredibly quickly, noting that I'm in fact not indecisive. Instead, I'm very thorough, and that every decision I make needs to be weighed up, with the pros and cons considered.
This isn't an issue in itself, but problem arises because I'm not giving myself the time or space to weigh up the pros and cons.
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How to become more decisive
Mhairi made the problem seem simple to solve. She said I simply need to set aside time for making decision, rather than trying to make the decision while I'm working, on the train, or scrolling Instagram.
"Our thought processes tend to get interrupted when we're trying to make decisions, so the decision pops back into your head again a bit later, then you get interrupted again and that's quite stressful, and it's a waste of your time," she explained.
© Shutterstock"The problem is, we don't have a pocket of time devoted to making that decision, so we have to find the pocket. Look to identify a time to sit quietly and think through the logistics because having enough space and time to think through the entire piece will help," she added.
Mhairi suggested I set aside a set amount of time for a decision, and then note down how long it actually takes. She explained we normally need three times as long as we think. For example, if I think I need five minutes, I should set aside 15 for my decision.
I can then see if it does take 15 minutes and tailor accordingly.
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Am I more decisive now?
It's only been two weeks since my session with Mhairi, and I 100% feel more clarity when it comes to making decisions.
My brain used to flit around between articles I was writing, my evening plans and decisions that needed to be made. But by setting aside dedicated time for a decision, making notes of the pros and cons, I'm able to rationalise the positives and negatives and feel comfortable in my decision.
If you're indecisive too, watch the video below for Mhairi's three top tips on overcoming indecision…
Learn how to be happier with our HELLO! Happiness hub and find out more about Mhairi Todd.
