When makeup artist and cosmetic brand founder Daniel Sandler was trolled on his Instagram page for wearing makeup, it took him back to his school days in London, England where he was bullied for looking different.
"I was never one of those kids who was popular at school or had a girlfriend. I had red curly hair, pale skin with horrible spots and my natural look wasn’t sexy or desirable," Daniel, 58, explains to HELLO!.
"This is when I first discovered makeup thanks to a love and connection with the 80s New Romantics movement. I loved how they expressed themselves with bouffant hair, bright makeup and historical clothes. They stepped out of the norm and allowed their individuality to shine through."
"I realized that if my natural looks didn’t get me attention, then dressing up and wearing makeup definitely would. It instantly helped me to fit into a gang and I loved it."
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Fast forward almost 40 years, and Daniel’s teenage experiences have led him to create his own makeup line, Daniel Sandler Cosmetics, and to share Instagram Reels (to 20K-plus followers) which show how powerfully transformative makeup can be.
"Makeup makes me feel confident in the same way that wearing the right outfit for a job interview or wearing a cool suit to a wedding makes you feel great. It echoes what’s going on inside my head. It’s there for when I need it and it never lets me down."
"It reminds me of that experimental time in my life that led me to where I am now. I’m grateful that makeup has been a constant in giving me the tools to express and be happy in my skin."
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Sadly, Daniel’s love of makeup is still often met with ignorance and homophobia, and just like at school, some people react to his individuality "in a very unpleasant and aggressive way."
"It’s not uncommon for me to receive comments on Instagram like 'damn [you] to hell' or 'I hope God will forgive you' and that God will judge me. I’ve also been told I’m 'sick' and 'why is a man wearing makeup?' It is hideous. It’s basically hatred and intolerance that’s all based on fear. It’s not pleasant and in fact when I first used to get ugly comments it’d really upset me, sometimes for days."
A positive turning point came when Daniel filmed a post with his husband Simon, to explain how the trolling made them feel and "to highlight that hatred and intolerance has no place in this world."
"Bullying must be stopped and even though the negative comments were left on my account, I realized that they weren’t aimed at me personally — there’s the greater picture here, it’s their opinion about any individual who is different."
Daniel now says that by ignoring the trolls he has reached self-acceptance — and this is the key to his happiness.
"It has taken a lifetime to finally be happy," he explains. "I had to brush off what society recognizes as normal for a man. I had to redefine what it is to be me. I had to embrace everything that I am. I had to accept and love myself 100% without reservation. When we feel guilty about ourselves we are actually doing to ourselves the same harm that others do to us, and that is prejudice."
"Makeup lets me explore my masculinity. I don’t wear makeup every day, but if I’m in the mood I’ll go for it. It doesn’t have to be a full face of makeup, it can be as simple as strong brows or a really glowy glossy skin. Silly now, but as a kid I’d be embarrassed to say I wore moisturizer or took care of my nails. Those feelings of feeling shame and guilt for so many years takes its toll but when you can finally shrug all that off your shoulders you can take on the world."
"Now I don’t care, I won’t waste my time letting them upset me anymore," he continues. "They can leave their messages but I’ll just delete them, block them and report them. Those feelings of feeling shame and guilt for so many years takes its toll but when you can finally shrug all that [expletive] off your shoulders you can take on the world."
