Ever felt lost and overwhelmed, finding yourself putting on a façade of superficial happiness?
Meet Charlotte Carter, a community fund manager-turned-personal trainer, who realised she wasn't on the right path and set about changing her life at 45.
After three decades of deliberating, Charlotte took a leap and said goodbye to her high-powered career for one in fitness, aiming to help other women alter their mindset and fitness.
As the founder and CEO of High Performance Activator®, Charlotte empowers ambitious businesswomen to embrace their inner strength, optimise their mindset, energy, and drive towards realising their fullest potential. Read all about her brave journey in her own words…
How I found true happiness at the age of 45
"I was working as a recovery coordinator at a mental health charity with vulnerable clients. This job was off the scale intense and while I found reward in making a difference in people's lives, I also felt the enormous pressure which came with the role.
"There were some days that felt extremely heavy and heart-wrenching, sometimes paralysing. I was representing clients in court, navigating their various addictions and assisting them with their life challenges.
"At the time, I felt this was my calling. I enjoyed the intensity of the role and the impact it provided. I knew I had a gift to help others and I really felt I had made it. I had the job. I had (and still have) the family - happily married and two teenage children. I ticked a lot of boxes in life. I was really making a difference, but I wasn't fulfilled. I did not feel happy. I was surface happy.
"Everything changed in April 2019. An opportunity arose to join an all-women running club in my hometown of Bury St Edmunds and I jumped at the chance to go along. I didn't know at the time that this decision would change my life and ultimately my own happiness.
"Ahead of my first session, I spent the afternoon changing my outfits over and over again, fretting over what I was going to wear and what I was going to say. "Finally, on the fifth outfit, I decided it was ridiculous to keep changing clothes so many times. And that was the start of a realisation that I had completely lost myself, my identity and, with that, my happiness.
"One thought can change your life; it did that day for me. I knew I had a choice: stay where I was or choose to prioritise myself – to do stuff for me, to feel alive. And I chose to do that and I have never looked back.
"When I got there, I realised I was massively overdressed, but this time it didn't matter. I was able to laugh it off because I knew this was the beginning of something wonderful. I signed up that day feeling full of hope and excitement.
"On my way home, I felt lighter. I'd just met a circle of awesome, powerful women who knew who they were, what they wanted to achieve, and how they were going to do it.
It was so uplifting, exciting, and refreshing.
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"I walked through the front door and said to my husband Matt, 'Everything's going to change - I'm going to help people find their identity and reconnect with who they see in the mirror.'
"I promptly retrained as a transformational life coach, NLP practitioner and clinical hypnotherapist and opened up my clinic on 13th Oct 2019. Within three weeks, I was fully booked.
"I remember sharing my news with my family and friends and the reaction was hugely positive, supportive and encouraging. I very much felt it was 100% the change to make at the time and I am super grateful to Matt who, deep down, knew this change was coming long before I did.
"Nowadays, I feel happiness on a deeper level. I am no longer searching for external validation or earning my version of happiness. I stand strong in internal satisfaction, peace and happiness.
"Within my company High Performance Activator®, we support highly ambitious leaders to unlock their potential and reconnect with their inner happiness to create the life they truly desire.
"I ask people to identify what parts of their life feel like a tick box exercise and whether they have fallen off their own to-do list of life.
"Surface happy is when you carry out societal expectations because you feel you 'should' rather than internally feeling happy with those choices. It's where you are looking externally for happiness. There's no depth of feeling within and no connection to the deeper fulfilment aspect of life.
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"When I take a snapshot of my life today, I embrace the depth of happiness in many areas. I have allowed myself to experience deeper connections in friendships and I find more pleasure in each moment rather than thinking what have I still got to do. I also now have a much stronger connection, love and admiration for the woman I see in the mirror.
"For anyone who feels surface happy, I invite you to explore what happiness truly means to you. Do you feel fulfilled in your work / life / health / relationships? If I could wave a magic wand, what would you do that would bring you pure happiness? And then see if you can do more of that."