If you've ever considered therapy but were put off because you felt your problems weren't 'real' enough, integrative therapist Natasha-Rae Adams is here to reassure you that this is not the case.
Many of us believe that we need to be diagnosed with a mental health condition to warrant booking in to see a therapist, but this is something that Natasha-Rae wants to dispel. "You don’t need to have a diagnosed mental health condition to pursue therapy," she says. "Therapy can simply be used as a playground of sorts.
"Therapy is somewhere that thoughts, emotions, words and behaviours can be explored in a safe way- even if you consider yourself to be mentally healthy. It can offer us a greater knowledge of ourselves and our relationships with those around us," she continues.
Fellow therapist Billie Dunlevy agrees that anyone can benefit from therapy, adding: "Getting to know ourselves and understand our lives better is never a waste of time."
Natasha-Rae explains that therapy can help us be happier. "Therapy has the capacity to help us live more functional and fulfilling lives, with a greater acceptance of ourselves," she explains.
"Having another human truly recognise and make space for us to show up in a whole, messy and complete way, can help us see ourselves in a more compassionate and celebratory light. Importantly, therapy can help us be more present, happier and authentic."
In honour of World Mental Health Day, we asked Natasha-Rae and five other members of the British Association For Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP) for their opinion on how therapy can help us live happier lives. Read on to find out…
How therapy can make us happier
1. Therapy helps us recognise our emotions
"Therapy celebrates the variety of human emotions, helping us evolve through them rather than skirt around them," explains Natasha-Rae.
Rather than ignoring emotions that make us uncomfortable, she says that we lead happier lives by allowing ourselves to feel, process and cope with our full range of emotions authentically.
2. Therapy is me-time
Very little of our time is spent on ourselves – in fact, new stats from Philips Lumea showed that women spend just one per cent of our week on ourselves.
By making time for a therapy appointment once a week, we prove our self-worth and reaffirm that we are worth spending time on.
"Therapy can act as regular time for us to wholly focus on and prioritise what we are experiencing in that very moment, acting as a valuable space to take care of ourselves," confirms Natasha-Rae.
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3. Therapy can improve our relationships
Understanding ourselves better through therapy can also help our relationships become stronger. "Relationships are enriched as therapy can help us learn how to be more present with those around us, alongside communicating our own needs and desires," Natasha-Rae explains.
4. Therapy can help us appreciate ourselves
"I see clients develop compassion for themselves and quieten their self-criticism," says Helen Hazell-English, who specialises in therapy for mothers and mothers-to-be. "Clients often grow to like and respect themselves more, which leads to courageously sharing more of themselves in relationships, taking their needs and desires seriously and working out what changes they want to make. More spontaneity, joy, peace, confidence, and growth flows from there!
"All this leads to improved mood, better self-esteem and self-care, less stress and less overthinking," Helen adds.
Nicola Vanlint, who specialises in anxiety and confidence agrees, adding: "Therapy increases our self-compassion, which enables us to be kinder to ourselves and more understanding, rather than self-critical if things don’t go right or aren’t ‘perfect,'
She adds that this increase in self-love and self-esteem builds our inner confidence and empowers us to take risks and say no to the things that we don’t want in our lives.
5. Therapy empowers us to make changes
A greater understanding of ourselves may lead us to realise things we need to cut out or add to our lives.
"Therapy enables and empowers positive change as well as time to discover more of what makes us tick," says therapist Simon Coombs. "We may learn more about our values and beliefs and make sense of areas that may have caused us emotional pain in the past as well as in the present.
"With the right help and support, even the most complex and layered issues can be overcome, leading to a happier and more progressive life. We not only heal emotional wounds but learn better and healthier ways to manage our wellbeing through life’s challenges."
Why does talking to a therapist help?
If you're lucky enough to have friends and family you can talk to about your problems, you might wonder why a therapist is necessary.
It's the fact that our loved ones are naturally biased towards us that means they're not always the best people to talk to when we're grappling with a problem.
"Whilst we are accustomed to seeking support from family and friends with our problems, it can be immensely helpful to speak with someone impartial," says therapist Anthony Davis.
"Therapists provide an unbiased viewpoint and can help you see situations more clearly," he says. "Sharing thoughts and feelings with an impartial listener can be cathartic and reduce emotional distress," he adds.
Helen explains that we are able to offload more freely, without guilt, when we speak to a therapist/ "With a therapist you can take out a whole chunk of worry and responsibility - about things like being a burden, being entertaining, making sense, getting things right, or needing to look after us," she says.
Billie Dunlevy notes that it can be daunting to walk into the therapy room for the first time, but has some sage wisdom.
"Therapy is not something that is ‘done to you,'" she reassures. "Going to a therapist can evoke fears or concerns about people in authority or medical professionals. Therapists are neither. And a good therapist will be able to demonstrate that they bring something to the table but so does the client.
"It’s a collaborative experience where there are no silly questions or ideas! If something is important to you, your therapist will want to hear about it.
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"Therapy does take work and requires clients to be vulnerable and committed to the process," Billie cautions. "It can help to remember that your therapist understands your nerves and that building trust takes time. They will be in no rush; you can set a pace that feels right for you."
Helen adds that therapy isn't always serious, saying: It's important to say that there is room for laughter in therapy! I care deeply about my clients and we form a close working relationship, which includes laughing together, sharing lighter moments and celebrating things that feel good."
Visit www.bacp.co.uk to find a registered and accredited therapist to suit you and visit our HELLO! Happiness Hub for more way to be happy.