It’s embarrassing to admit how much time I’ve spent wishing I still had my 18-year-old body.
At 34, I’ve had to accept that no amount of working out will restore me to how I looked in my teens, but that’s not to say I don’t lament what has passed. I’m also aware that it’s not healthy to want to look 16 years younger than I am.
I’m not to blame though. Society’s glorification of youth is, as it the unrealistic pressure put on women's bodies. A recent post by body acceptance influencer Emily Clarkson highlighted exactly how I’ve been feeling. "You don’t need to look like you did at 22, because you’re not 22," she wrote alongside photos of herself at 22 and now. She captioned the clip: "She hasn’t lived what I have lived, loved all the people I have loved or been the person we became. I gotta let her go."
The comments section on Emily's proved she and I are not alone in our feelings. "Our bodies are supposed to change as we get older. We don’t expect our hair to never grey, or our skin to stay smooth and wrinkle-free, it’s insane that society has taught us our body weight should remain unchanged," one follower wrote.
Selena Gomez echoed the sentiments last night online, posting a photo of herself from a decade ago in a bikini, captioned: "Today I realised I will never look like this again.”
A second slide showed a recent photo of the 31-year-old, captioned: "I’m not perfect but I’m proud to be who I am. Sometimes I forget it’s okay to be me.”
I loved seeing that one of the most beautiful women in the world feels the same way that I do, and positive psychology coach Elle Mace explained why it’s helpful to see celebrities be open about their body image.
"When public figures openly discuss their body image, especially the struggles and weight gain, it can break societal norms and reduce the stigma surrounding body issues.
"This transparency often encourages others to embrace their own bodies, fostering a more positive and inclusive attitude towards diverse body types and that it’s not better to be one size or another, everyone is different and that is what we need to focus on and celebrate."
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Hopefully, Selena's open comments will help the younger generations avoid the way I feel about my body, as Elle adds: "Public figures are naturally role models, especially for the younger audience. Younger people are often seeking approval and attention therefore following and admiring a celebrity or influencer makes them feel safe and that if they accept and love their bodies, then it’s ok for me to as well."
Accepting our changing bodies
"Accepting the natural changes that come with aging involves embracing a broader definition of beauty and focusing on the value of experiences, wisdom, and personal growth," says Elle.
"Cultivating self-compassion and gratitude for what your body has allowed you to do can help shift the focus away from past appearances to present well-being."
Though accepting change is important, it's still difficult, as psychotherapist and founder of the Luxe Psychology Practice Jade Thomas explains: "Any change in life can feel intimidating or scary so it is natural to have some apprehension about our bodies changing as we age. However, our bodies are not meant to stay the same as we move through the lifespan.
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"A helpful technique is to change how you are viewing your body, rather than being critical of your physical appearance, try reframing your thoughts and thinking about what does your body do for you, how does your body function on a day-to-day basis to allow you to do things? What are you grateful for when it comes to your body? And how can you take care of your body in the best way possible?"
Here's hoping Selena's open, honest post helps others on their self-acceptance journey. As for me? I'm still working on it.
Read more inspiring content about accepting ourselves on HELLO!'s Beautiful You hub.