Congratulations! We made it through the year’s longest month with approximately 5,000 days, give or take. How have you found it?
I’m going to say something controversial now. I LOVED it.
Let me offer some context. I'm Louise, I'm 38 and I'm a recovering people pleaser. I grew up in a turbulent household and I learnt that making other people happy was the best way to stay safe.
I’m now an online content creator and it’s my job to make digital content and to nurture my online community, basically speaking, to make a big group of internet folk happy.
What started as 35 blog readers in 2009 has grown to around 8,000,000 subscribers/followers across multiple online platforms and it’s fair to say, things have REALLY escalated.
Obviously, I’m extremely grateful. But I tell you what, it’s hard to please millions of people all at once and a few years ago I experienced a full-on burnout whilst trying.
To prevent that from happening again, I started shaking things up and decided to go offline for the whole of January and wow, it did me the world of good.
I didn't go on holiday (though I have been lusting after everyone’s winter sun snaps) but my brain had the rest it needed. My online audience knew I was on hiatus, I knew I didn't need to be ‘on’ or to please and I slowed down for a while.
Slow January
Over the years I’ve delved deeper and deeper into this slow January notion and something that really struck me is the cycle of nature.
We have the manic rush of Christmas, a few days in our PJs eating our body weight in cheese and then voila, time for 85 unrealistic New Year’s Resolutions and a New-Year-New-You.
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Meanwhile, most other creatures are still hibernating, and the flowers haven’t even poked through the wintery soil yet. I’m not sure we’re designed to flourish in January.
I think, if we look at the natural flow of seasons, we’re supposed to rest, preserve energy, and really shine in spring. If you did smash it in January, I’m thrilled for you though, I love a goal-getter! If you didn't, take this as permission to be OK with it, it’s just not the right time yet. Do what you need to do to keep chugging on and let the big things bloom when they’re ready.
The world won’t stop turning if you do ever so slightly less and as I’ve learnt these past few Januarys, you don’t have to please everyone.
My month offline
As much as I wanted to make like a bear and snooze all month, I kept fairly busy, just with things I really love and not sharing every moment online… quite the concept for the phone addict in me.
1. Family time
The month began with decluttering, tidying and general ‘mum life’. My youngest daughter Pearl turned six and we celebrated with a Mermazing Under the Sea-themed party, which of course, she loved!
My eldest Daughter Darcy and I had the most fabulous time attending the Gala Night for Six (the most brilliant musical about the six wives of Henry VIII) at the Vaudeville. Lovely special things for both of them.
2. Wedding planning
Wedding planning has officially begun! We spent so long faffing about, not knowing what we wanted or where to start that we bit the bullet and hired the most amazing wedding planner, and she is ON IT. We’ve toured three stunning London venues. One of them I’m in love with, one of them Liam is really keen on and the other we thought was absolutely beautiful but perhaps not quite right for us.
We still have three more to tour, so I’ll keep you posted! Now my brain is whirring with ideas for floral arrangements, entertainment, photo ops and of course, being a wife… again. Marriage after divorce is a real journey let me tell you.
3. New challenges
I haven’t shared this anywhere else online yet so, deep breath before I go further, I’ve started a course in becoming a qualified Doula! A doula is a person who supports you through pregnancy, birth, labour and new parenthood.
For many, many lengthy reasons, I’m so passionate about people having positive birth experiences and I wanted to look into how I could contribute to that properly.
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I’ve only done the introduction day so far, I need to work out whether there is space in the calendar to actually complete the entire programme and then support real-life birthing people, but it’s exciting nonetheless and I’ve enjoyed researching it all.
4. Girly time
I hosted ‘The Ultimate Girl Gang Sleepover’ with my university besties one Saturday night and it was wonderful. Once upon a time, we’d have hit the bars and clubs of Liverpool (where we all studied and met) but now we take things a bit slower.
They arrived from all corners of the UK, just in time for a beautiful afternoon tea (I wish I could take credit but the wonderful Copper Kitchen company set it up), we mooched around a lovely little town full of boutiques, had dinner and came home for cosy chats under blankets until the small hours. Twenty years of friendship under our belts and cheersing to twenty more. A tonic for the soul.
What's next?
After a month spent going a bit slower, enjoying a better headspace for wedding planning, feeling uplifted for learning new things and being completely present with the girls, I’m rested and ready to run into February.
INSPIRATION: How to do less everyday and stay happy
I’ve also planned out quite the year ahead. Next month I’m going to tell you the somewhat mad thing I’ve booked for March (what was I thinking?!) and of course, fill you in on all of the behind-the-scenes once I’m back at work - there’s always good gossip there!!
Until then, thank you for reading, well done on pushing through the world’s longest 31 days. I can’t wait to chat again soon!
Keep up with Louise on Instagram and find more mood-boosting stories on HELLO!'s Happiness Hub