Christina Applegate is getting candid about the heartbreaking toll her multiple sclerosis diagnosis has had on her, particularly on her mental health.
The Dead to Me actress, 52, first announced that she had been diagnosed with MS in August of 2021, and has virtually retired from acting since, and makes few public appearances.
Still, despite her retreat from the spotlight, she frequently keeps fans up to date on the ups and downs of her health battle, and most recently opened up about the "real depression" that has been a part of it.
This week, Christina released a new episode of her and her good friend Jamie-Lynn Sigler's podcast MeSsy — which was recorded in early 2024 — in which she admits that she is "in a depression right now."
The former Friends star confessed: "I don't think I've felt that for, like, years, like, a real [expletive] it all depression, like real depression, where it's kind of scaring me too a little bit."
"It feels really fatalistic," she added, and further shared: "It feels really end of it, you know," before noting that she doesn't quite "mean that." She elaborated: "I'm trapped in this darkness right now that I haven't felt like [...] I don't even know how long, probably 20 something years."
Christina then shared that she had scheduled an appointment with her therapist, which was "a big thing for me to do," explaining: "I have avoided therapy since I've been diagnosed because I'm so afraid to start crying and that I'm not going to be able to end crying."
The podcast episode was recorded shortly after she made an emotional appearance at the 75th Annual Emmy Awards in January, during which she was brought to tears by the star-studded audience's lengthy standing-ovation.
However, much as she was supported by her peers during the special night, Christina also admitted it was "the hardest day" or her life, with a strenuous, full-day schedule, and that she "slept for like two days straight after that."
As she arrived on stage that night, Christina joked: "You are totally shaming me with disability with standing up," and during the podcast, she reflected on why she decided to be self-deprecating.
"The first thing that came out of my mouth was literally self-deprecation because I could feel myself going into that space of where I wasn't going to be able to stop or read what I'm supposed to read without, I don't know, making people laugh or making them feel more comfortable about it. And I mean, I was so disabled that I slurred the word disabled."
She added: "I don't remember doing it because I blacked [out], like I literally blacked out as I was walking out, you know, like that thing where like, you just get white in the face. And my friends were like, 'You were so funny.' I was like, what, what do you mean? I just read the thing."