Hoda Kotb shares heartbreaking breast cancer side effect that 'killed a dream'

Hoda Kotb is the proud mother of two beautiful daughters – but how she became a mom isn't how she expected.

The Today star, 60, had hopes of carrying her children, but after she was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2007, that dream came to an end.

Speaking recently on her podcast Making Space, Hoda revealed that a side effect of having cancer was being unable to get pregnant.

"I do remember that even the doctor said to me then, you know, one of the sort of side effects, especially at your age, which was in my 40s, early 40s, is you won’t be able to have children," she said.

"And I was like, 'Wait, what?' So this thing not only put limits on my life but killed a dream."

Hoda and her partner at the time, Joel Schiffman, went on to adopt daughter Haley Joy, in 2017, and Hope Catherine in 2019.

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During the podcast, Hoda opened up about how she felt when she first got her diagnosis.

"When I got sick, I remember it so clearly because I was thinking to myself, like, 'How do I have breast cancer?' and ''why do I need a mastectomy?'

"I worried that everyone who had cancer died of cancer. And I thought, 'Oh my God, well, I have it now. So is that what that means?'" she added.

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During an appearance on Today in 2022, Hoda spoke about how she dealt with her body after undergoing a mastectomy.

"You don't realize how long the journey is," she told co-host Jenna Bush Hager.

"I remember really clearly, after my cancer surgery – I did a surgery where it was a mastectomy, but they also did a hip-to-hip incision to do some moving things around – but anyway, I remember, afterward, having to get washed in the hospital."

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She continued: "I hadn't seen (the scarring), because I just hadn't looked at it. A nurse came in to help me and she stood me in front of the mirror, and I was horrified."

While the surgery had been a success, Hoda wasn't prepared for what was to come and the journey to acceptance was long and hard. 

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"You know when you look, and you're like, 'That's me now?! Like, this is the body for the rest of my life that's going to carry me through?'" she continued. "You don’t see it as: The cancer is gone. Right then, that moment, you see it as this horrible thing."

Hoda wasn't sure she'd ever be able to look at herself in a positive light and shared: "You don't think that you'll ever feel good about yourself, because you're always going to be hiding, hiding, hiding, hiding."

   

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But with the help of other survivors and a former boyfriend, Hoda was able to gradually change her vision. 

"That was his purpose, I think, in my life. I remembered feeling not pretty and not worthy, and then somebody doesn't see the scars. Like, someone looks at you and just doesn't see that."