How many times have you beaten yourself up over bailing on your gym class, or staying in bed rather than going for a run?
For me, it's far too frequent an occurrence, but personal trainer Emma Simarro, who specialises in working with women in midlife, wants us to stop berating ourselves for missing one session, and to look at the bigger picture instead.
"We are the sum of things that we do most of the time," Emma reassures. "A week of less exercise, or even a month where you don't work out as much, is not going to make or break you. Zoom out, look at your year as a whole and notice how much effort you've put in."
Emma notes that we can't carry on at the same pace all the time. "That's unsustainable!" She says. "It's good for our body to pull back a little bit sometimes. We have ebbs and flows in life, sometimes we have other priorities. So enjoy the pullback, you'll return to working out stronger and remotivated."
Reframing fitness
Emma's motto as a fitness professional is about reframing exercise to be a positive element of our lives, not a chore or a punishment. "Growing up, exercise was always a vehicle to lose weight," she admits. "We grew up in a toxic diet culture and I worked out simply to become smaller."
The turning point for Emma came when she began lifting weights. "It genuinely transformed my life and how I viewed exercise. When I started to notice I was getting stronger I was so motivated, so while it's absolutely fine for my clients to have goals surrounding their body composition, it's important to focus on the other benefits of working out, such as better mood, less anxiety, more motivation and increased confidence.
"The best part of what I do is seeing the change in my clients' demeanour, they walk more confidently. Exercise should always add value, it will never stick if you view it as a punishment."
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Intuitive exercise
Emma makes sure to work out intuitively with her clients. If they have low energy, she takes them for a walk rather than put them through their paces with a HIIT workout. "It's all about trying to help women tune into their bodies, but I do push my clients to continually improve."
Take her walks, for example. Emma is realistic that while a stroll is her favourite part of her day, we need to be doing more to care for ourselves.
"Your bones and muscles won't adapt from walking," she says. "Our bodies quickly get used to it, so we need to make it more challenging – add ankle weights, or walk up inclines to test your muscles to help your body get stronger."
Self-critical
We must be kind to ourselves, though.
Emma notes that positive change can't come from a place of self-hatred, so she works with her clients on self-talk as well as lifting weights. "We can't feel better about ourselves if it comes from hating on ourselves," she says. "Women are highly critical and we hold ourselves to such high standards. It's an important thing to give ourselves grace and treat ourselves with the care we treat others."
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It's never too late
As someone who specialises in training women in midlife, working with people struggling with menopausal weight gain, fatigue and joint pain, Emma wants women to know it’s never too late to begin weight training.
"So many women think that they've left it too late, or that jumping into weight lifting in their 60s is intimidating, but I want women to know that it is never too late - there are studies that show that we can build muscle into our eighties.
"You can be the healthiest and the strongest and the fittest you've ever been in your sixties," encourages Emma. "We don't need to slow down."
Find out more about working with Emma and her training, Building Body Confidence
