Making time for self-care in our busy lives can seem impossible, but it is precisely when we are the busiest that we need to be extra intentional about taking care of ourselves, notes wellness practitioner Rebecca Moore.
In her new book, Radical Self-Care, Rebecca shares 40 straightforward ways we can prioritise our wellbeing, even when our lives are most demanding.
Read on for Rebecca's advice on the importance of self-soothing…
In moments of overwhelm, when thinking is difficult and solutions feel unclear, sometimes all I can do is wrap my body in the safety of my own arms and tell myself that everything is going to be okay.
This is what it means to self-soothe. To calm and comfort ourselves when we're experiencing distress. To move our minds away from unwanted thoughts, feelings and impulses, and offer ourselves an inward kindness when we need it the most.
When we move from our heads into our hearts to be with ourselves in that space, we connect to our innermost being with warmth and love, and we become our own medicine.
Self-soothing builds inner resilience and reminds us of our ability to self-regulate. The first step is always to check in and notice what we're feeling, thinking and experiencing. The next step is to know what we can do or say to soothe and support ourselves. Sometimes we require tender compassion, giving ourselves space to heal and permission to rest. Other times we need fierce compassion, ordering ourselves out of a slump with affirming words of kindness and encouragement.
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When we tend to our innermost longings with attentiveness and care, we can discover our 'love languages'. We can become our own cheerleaders both in moments of difficulty and moments of joy. The most important relationship we have is the one we have with ourselves. So let's make a habit of showing ourselves that we have our own back.
In the words of holistic health coach Susan Weiss Berry: "Every act of self-care is a powerful declaration: I am on my side, I am on my side, each day I am more and more on my own side."
Introducing 'Pillow Self-Talk'
"There are days I drop words of comfort on myself like falling leaves and remember that it is enough to be taken care of by myself," says Brian Andreas.
Think about pillow talk, that intimate conversation between a romantic couple. In the name of radical self-care, I've reimagined it as an affirmation practice to build self-intimacy.
What better time to start a loving dialogue with yourself than first thing in the morning? What better place than from the comfort of your bed while your head still rests on your pillow?
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This practice invites you to communicate with yourself intimately and openly, to be honest about any feelings you've woken up with and give yourself the love and encouragement you need for the day ahead.
The way that you speak to yourself matters. Filling up with affirming words of kindness creates less space for negative thoughts to enter in. It also makes you more aware and less judgemental of recurring thought patterns and feelings. If you share a bed with someone and cannot practice this out loud, have the conversation in your head.
Practicing Pillow Self-Talk
Step 1: Upon waking in the morning, take a moment to acknowledge your energy and mood.
Step 2: Recite the following statement out loud or in your head: "I choose to be with myself, fully in this moment, to give myself my undivided attention. I accept myself as I am. I accept whatever emotions I am experiencing for what they are."
Step 3: Now begin to speak affirming words to yourself, focusing on positive language: "I am…", "I can…", "I have…", "I love…".
Step 4: Rather than bypassing anything challenging you may be experiencing, meet it with mindfulness and compassion: "Even though I am experiencing … I trust that I will get through it."
Step 5: If past regrets or future worries arise, acknowledge them and bring your focus back to the day ahead. Choose an affirmation below to carry with you. "Just for today, I choose to meet myself with gentleness and compassion." "Just for today, I choose to meet myself with trust and belief." "Just for today, I choose to meet myself with patience and hope." "Just for today, I choose to meet myself with acceptance and understanding." "Just for today, I choose to meet myself with curiosity and openness." "Just for today, I choose to meet myself with encouragement and love."
Step 6: Create a mantra that you can return to and recite for on-the-go encouragement. My personal favourites are: "All will be well." "I am held and supported." "I trust in life and I trust in myself."
Evening Ritual Pillow talk also works as a ritual.
Step 1: Just before you go to sleep at night, take a moment to acknowledge your energy and mood.
Step 2: Now think of something great you achieved during your day and congratulate yourself for it.
Step 3: Acknowledge anything that didn't go your way or that you would have liked to do differently.
Step 4: Remind yourself that tomorrow is a brand-new day and an opportunity to start afresh.
Step 5: Think about three things you are grateful for and feel your heart warm before drifting off to sleep.
Buy Radical Self-Care here
