Perimenopause came relatively early for me at the start of my 40s. I was waking up with heart palpitations, hot flashes and a general feeling of doom every night at around 3 am which I initially put down to stress as it was during the pandemic and my dad was very sick in hospital.
But when my symptoms continued for months afterwards and my periods became extremely erratic, I realized that these episodes were more than likely due to perimenopause.
Thankfully, and coincidentally, I had started writing more about perimenopause and menopause symptoms, and so I was aware that my hormones could be behind my hot flashes and anxiety.
I researched almost every solution that promised to treat my symptoms. Herbal supplements, cold packs, HRT, consuming less sugar, less alcohol... But it was during a conversation with one of my best friends that I thought to give hypnotherapy a go to ease my menopause symptoms.
I had been eating lunch with friends when I experienced a hot flash. Embarrassed and panicking that everyone would notice, my friend Bridgette, who happens to be a hypnotherapist, quickly calmed me down, told me to think about being cold while reassuring me that no one noticed and panic was just making it worse.
Bridgette was right. I quickly cooled down and the hot flash disappeared. And so I thought about giving hypnotherapy a try.
I'll admit that I was a bit skeptical at first. However, the experience I had that lunchtime reassured me. Plus I had been hypnotized before (not by Bridgette) for anxiety - and I found it helpful.
READ: Five non-negotiables for thriving during menopause
But I wondered how much power the mind could really have over my body’s temperature. Bridgette explained that your mind can overcome anything if you really want it to. No, it won't make the hot flashes physically go away, but Bridgette explained that her techniques will help me to redirect my mind away from the intensity of them.
Hypnotherapy for menopause symptoms
My hour-long hypnotherapy session with Bridgette was virtual as she is based in the UK and I live in America. And for those of you unfamiliar with hypnotherapy, no it doesn't involve falling into a spell while following a swinging stopwatch with your eyes. It's actually much more simple than that. You are conscious and aware of your surroundings and what is being told to you. You're just in an extremely relaxed state. It's similar to that drifting feeling that you have when you have a really relaxing facial or massage.
Bridgette encouraged me to get comfortable in a quiet warm place - I chose my bedroom and covered myself with a blanket. She then soothed me with her cozy voice into a 'half awake' state by helping me envision myself being in my 'happy place'. About 10 minutes into the session, my body had literally melted into my soft bed and my mind felt calm and soothed.
Bridgette then settled me into the session by coaching me on easy visualization techniques to help me manage my hot flashes and anxiety.
DISCOVER: This £89 tool eased my hot flushes, night sweats and menopausal aches and pains
The 'Cooling Wave'
Bridgette explained that next time I feel a hot flash coming on, I should close my eyes, take a slow, deep breath, and imagine a cooling wave coming over me, starting at the top of my head.
We practiced it during the session and in my mind, I pictured this wave as calm and ice blue – soft, flowing, and refreshing. As I breathed in, Bridgette encouraged me to feel a cooling sensation flowing from my head, down my neck and over my shoulders. With each exhale, I envisioned the wave traveling further down my body, washing over my tummy, arms, legs, and finally reaching my feet.
Breath of Ice
The second method Bridgette talked me through is one she calls the 'Breath of Ice' and it is for when I'm out and about and don't have the time or space for a full cooling visualization.
To do this, Bridgette tells me to inhale deeply and imagine the air I'm breathing in as a cool, crisp breeze. I hate feeling cold, so this was an easy one to visualize. I focused on the sensation of coolness in my nose and throat, like when you go outside for a walk in winter. And then, as I exhaled, I envisioned that coolness spreading through my body, and Bridgette advised me to focus on the areas where I feel the most heat during my hot flashes.
Beyond hot flashes, Bridgette also recommended some techniques that I could use to stay calm and grounded during moments of stress, anxiety, or discomfort - episodes that often came to us all during perimenopause and menopause.
READ: 7 simple ways to ease perimenopausal anxiety
Here are two that have become part of my daily routine.
Easing anxiety in menopause
1. Finger-to-thumb technique
Whenever I feel anxious, I simply touch my thumb to my finger and focus on taking slow, deep breaths. I expand my abdomen as I inhale and remind myself to stop any negative thinking. Then, I do a quick check of my body language, scanning from my shoulders to my jaw, forehead, and abdomen, and consciously release any tension I find. This helps me to relax any tense areas and gives me a sense of control over my body's response to stress.
WATCH: Try this 1-minute hack to instantly calm down
2. STOP Technique
Bridgette asked me to imagine seeing a stop sign in the most visual and relatable way and for some reason, I imagined a friendly lollipop lady (I think this is called a crossing guard in America).
Whenever I notice negative thoughts creeping in, or experience a hot flash, Bridgette explains that I must mentally say "Stop" and visualize my lollipop lady pushing those thoughts away, and then, replace them with positive thoughts. It's a bit like training my mind to press the reset button – it's simple, but powerful.
3. Positive reinforcement
Finally, Bridgette introduced me to a technique to practice every night to help me reframe my thoughts and not only improve my hot sweats but also my overall mindset too. Here's how it works:
Just before I fall asleep, I repeat this positive suggestion 10 times: "Every day, in every way, I am calm, confident, and happy."
To stay focused and avoid losing count, I press each finger of my right hand for each repetition, then continue with each finger of my left hand until I've reached 10. Each press helps me stay alert and intentional.
By doing this before falling asleep, Bridgette explained that I'm training myself to develop a habit of positive self-suggestion and the goal is to feel these suggestions working their way into my subconscious, so I wake up feeling empowered and ready to face the next day with a positive mindset.
After a few weeks of practicing these techniques, I've noticed a real difference. While my hot flashes haven't vanished, they definitely feel less consuming, and hypnotherapy has helped me manage them instead of enduring them.
I've really started to appreciate and respect this mind-body connection that hypnotherapy brings, and have realized how much our mental focus can affect us not just mentally, but physically too.