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Should you tell your boss you're in perimenopause?

Does sharing your perimenopause experience open the door to misunderstandings in the workplace?

Donna Francis
Contributing Editor US
4 days ago
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Perimenopause and work are not a good mix. Symptoms such as brain fog and hot sweats can catch you out in meetings, which does nothing for your confidence. And what's more soul-destroying than forgetting a colleague's name - especially if you've been working with them for a long time? 

Suffering in silence is often the approach many women take as menopause is still a taboo subject, not least in the workplace. But is telling your boss about what you're going through the best approach? Is it a step toward breaking the stigma surrounding perimenopause, or does it open the door to potential misunderstandings?

When Tamsen Fadal, TV broadcaster, menopause advocate and author of How To Menopause, found herself struggling at work when she went into perimenopause, she didn't know what was going on. 

Tamsen Fadal is an advocate for sharing menopause symptoms at work after her own experience left her confused and overwhelmed© Getty Images for ADAPT Leadershi
Tamsen Fadal is an advocate for sharing menopause symptoms at work after her own experience left her confused and overwhelmed

"I lost my mom at an early age, and no one was talking about menopause, so I had no idea what a hot flash or any other hormonal symptoms were. All I knew was that something was wrong with me," Tamsen explains on her website

"I didn't know perimenopause was responsible for brain fog, lack of sleep, and hot flashes. All I knew was that I was struggling to maintain my usual level of performance while rapidly losing confidence in myself," she adds. 

When Tamsen began sharing her symptoms with other women and learned that perimenopause was to blame, she decided to speak to her bosses about it. "I knew my workplace needed to implement a menopause policy," she explains. "So, in 2022, I nervously approached the company I was working for to pitch a menopause policy. I was terrified when I went in to speak with them, fearful that it would make me look less powerful and just plain old. But I'm happy to say that my proposal was well-received!"

Fostering understanding 

Actress Naomi Watts believes that speaking up at work about menopause and sharing your experiences can foster understanding and challenge outdated perceptions and taboos that many menopausal women face. 

"I think it's time to see women in this phase of life or this age group be well represented. We've been under-served in media, stories and marketing far too long," she told People magazine. "When you spotlight uncomfortable conversations, they get easier. Progress is made."

Actress Naomi Watts, pictured here with Tamsen, encourages women to speak up at work about their symptoms© Getty Images
Actress Naomi Watts, pictured with Tamsen, encourages women to speak up at work about their symptoms

Transparency about perimenopause symptoms can also pave the way for accommodations at work that support your productivity and well-being. 

READ: 12 things women want employers to know about the menopause

Just ask Julie Walters, the actress famed for her roles in Harry Potter and Mamma Mia. Julie experienced crippling hot flashes on the set of movies: "It was like a chimney and came from the base of my spine," she explained in an interview.  "I was doing this TV show called Murder, and every take there'd be, 'Stop! She's having a flush!' At the National, I'd come off stage for a quick change and have to shout, 'Garth, the tray!' And this guy would come with this big tin tray and fan me. [And in} Harry Potter, I was in a wig and padding, and they had to put this big tube of air conditioning in my face!"

British actress Julie Walters discovered that sharing her symptoms on set helped her work through them© Mike Marsland/WireImage
British actress Julie Walters discovered that sharing her symptoms on set helped her work through them

Speaking out with your colleagues can not only lead to practical solutions like Julie experienced but can also help break the taboo and normalize the conversations around menopause. 

READ: A perimenopause survival guide for 2025 (no resolutions included) 

"When we educate our workplaces, we help normalize what millions of women are going through," explains Tamsen. "This isn't about weakness; it's about empowerment. By staying silent, we're complicit in a culture that undervalues women’s experiences. Change starts with our voices."

Starting the conversation

Initiating a dialogue might feel daunting, so if you're hesitant to speak directly with your boss, consider starting with human resources or an employee resource group that can provide guidance on how to approach the conversation and may already have policies in place to assist.

Ultimately, deciding whether to tell your boss about your perimenopause journey is deeply personal. Factors such as your workplace culture, your relationship with your employer, and your comfort level with speaking will all play a role in your decision.

But what is clear, as Tamsen highlights, is the importance of breaking the silence: "Our voices are our power. By sharing our stories, we create a path for others to follow, making it easier for future generations to navigate this phase of life without fear or shame."

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