I have always known I wanted to be a mom. My family is huge, I have 21 first cousins on just my mom’s side, meaning I grew up around a lot of babies. I loved to hold them, take care of them, and babysit them when I came of age.
As I grew up, the desire to be a mother didn’t fade, but it changed quite a bit. My dreams always placed me as a young mom toting around her toddlers at 25. I turn 30 this year and feel further away from motherhood than ever.
My career is only just taking off, my finances are small, but mighty, and my apartment is not suited for a child. I want kids someday, but not right now.
Enter the magic of egg freezing.
If you’re a woman on the internet, you’ve heard about freezing eggs. Mainly single women are encouraged by podcast hosts and celebrities alike to freeze their eggs as a safety mechanism, a just-in-case. Just go to your gynaecologist, tell them you want to freeze your eggs, load yourself up on hormones, and boom! Your eggs are frozen. It’s made to seem easy. “Just freeze your eggs!” I hear this joyful plea over and over again. But, the simplicity is misleading.
Big decisions
Egg freezing is a bigger decision than social media and a quick Google search makes it out to be. According to healthline, the entire egg freezing process should only take 2 to 3 weeks. Starting with an appointment with your fertility doctor, addressing your current birth control mechanisms, beginning the injections, and finally, the retrieval.
© Getty ImagesBecause most people who freeze their eggs are single women, they are doing all of this alone. Stabbing themselves with needles nightly alone in their bathrooms, expanding their uteruses so they may one day have children. In reality, egg freezing is a long and often lonely process.
Celebrities talk freezing their eggs
I first decided I wanted to freeze my eggs after listening to the Race to 35 podcast on the Armchair Expert feed. Hosted by Monica Padman and Liz Plank, it followed the two single friends as they synced their periods and froze their eggs at the same time. In the eleven episodes, Monica and Liz covered why they wanted to freeze their eggs, interviewed OBGYNs and other experts, spoke with celebrities like January Jones and Chelsea Handler, and discussed how emotional the process really is.
© Getty ImagesOn episode 3, January shared why she chose to freeze her eggs why she decided to freeze her eggswith Liz and Monica, "I already had my son and I just wanted to alleviate any pressure on myself. As women, we have these stories in our mind of our 'plan' for life and marriage and family and kids, whatever that looks like. And I had an idea, but nothing ever goes to plan. So I just thought, to get rid of that weight, I wanted to do it."
Monica and Liz went through the process together, the ups and downs, and both froze a good amount of eggs.
How much does it cost?
The podcast showed me a path to egg freezing that didn’t look so scary. I could freeze my eggs and not be alone in the process. I just need a friend, the same period cycle, and oh wait - pay for it. According to New Hope Fertility, it costs anywhere from $8,000 to $20,000 to freeze your eggs. After the retrieval process, you can expect to pay $500 to $1,000 a year to store the eggs. Only 20% of large companies in the United States cover egg freezing through employee insurance. Cue my blood pressure rising.
© Getty ImagesSo, just to recap. Egg freezing is promoted to single women as a way to press pause on their biological clocks, but to freeze said eggs, they need $20,000 grand and the courage to inject hormones into their stomach every night for two weeks. And then pay rent for those eggs. It’s a more difficult decision than it seems!
'Future-proof fertility'
But still, I want to freeze my eggs. I want to, as Rita Ora put it, future proof my fertility. And according to everything I read, I’m at the perfect age for it. The younger you are, the more eggs you have to retrieve. And I’m healthy. I luckily don’t have any reason to be concerned about my fertility. Many women want to freeze their eggs because they have endometriosis or PCOS (polycystic ovary syndrome).
“If egg freezing were more accessible, I would,” an Instagram follower told me. “I have endometriosis and that can affect the ovaries. I want to preserve [my] fertility and make sure that if I do lose an ovary, I have options.”
Egg freezing can give women options when they feel like they have none. Actress Olivia Munn froze her eggs for a third time after she was diagnosed with breast cancer.
© Getty Images“After my diagnosis, we decided to try one more round of egg retrievals,” she told Vogue. “John [Mulaney] and I talked about it a lot and we don’t feel like we’re done growing our family, but didn’t know if I would have to do chemotherapy or radiation.”
I don’t have a diagnosis that makes me worry about my fertility. I’m just a single girl who eventually wants to be a mom. Maybe I’ll freeze my eggs this year, or maybe the next. For now, I’m choosing to focus on my career, my friendships, and building a life that I love, a life I can hopefully bring children into one day. So I’m just taking things one step at a time. Because I want kids someday, just not right now.
