Stacey Solomon has opened up about the lingering guilt she still feels after experiencing postnatal depression when she had her first child, Zachary.
Speaking to Bryony Gordon on Bryony's Mad World podcast, the Loose Women star - who is a doting mother to three young sons - detailed her experience with anxiety and how she uses crafting as a form of meditation.
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She explained: "Even now... I have moments with Zachy [her eldest] where I think 'Oh, I wish I loved you from the very minute.' Not that I didn't, I'm sure I did, I just didn't feel it, and I didn't get it. And it brings me tremendous guilt."
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On being so positive - something which her fans see on social media on a daily basis - Stacey said via the Telegraph: "People say to me, how could you have the energy to be so happy? And I actually find that when I'm sad and struggling, I find that more exhausting.
"So it's almost reprogramming your brain for that (being positive) to be the easy neutral, which can take a long time."
The Loose Woman star is a doting mum to three sons
Stacey has always been open about her mental health battle. In 2018, in an interview with Happiful magazine to support mental health charity Mind, the mum-of-three explained how she learned to manage her anxiety rather than try to fight it.
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"The best way for me to cope with it (anxiety), is to just accept that it is a part of me," she said. "There are good sides to it, and bad sides to it. The good side is that it makes me vigilant about my health, albeit too vigilant. The bad side is that it leaves me feeling very anxious sometimes, and unable to focus on anything else."
The former X Factor star also knows how to deal with her condition, telling the magazine: "Now, if I have an anxiety attack, I know that there is a middle, a beginning, and an end. I spent so long trying to fight it, and eventually, I’ve come to terms with the fact that it's part of me and if I embrace it, rather than trying to push it away, it's actually a lot easier to manage."
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