The milestone of our children leaving home is something all parents have to face at some point – whether they're going away to university or finding their independence by moving into a home of their own.
Ruth Langsford said her son Jack flying the nest left her in "physical pain", while even Gordon Ramsay once admitted that he was "a mess" after his eldest children went away to university, so if you too are feeling the effects of empty nest syndrome, you're not alone.
Many parents experience empty nest syndrome when their children move out
What is empty nest syndrome?
Empty nest syndrome refers to the sadness that parents feel when their children move out and leave home. It can comprise of some mixed feelings for parents – including the pride and excitement for their child to become an independent young adult, along with grief for the closeness they shared while living together.
What are the symptoms of empty nest syndrome?
Signs of empty nest syndrome can include feelings of loss, anxiety, sadness and grief, and can be experienced by both women and men. Some parents may experience emotional distress and anxiety about their children, and it can also cause marital stress among couples who may find a huge shift in their relationship once their children have left home.
Empty nest syndrome can cause marital stress
A loss of purpose is also commonly experienced by some parents, who may feel like they have lost a key part of their identity after their child loses home.
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Other challenges faced by parents experiencing empty nest syndrome can include establishing a new relationship with their children as they become adults and gain independence, and finding a new routine that fills the time they may have spent caring for their children.
What are the stages of empty nest syndrome?
There can be three typical stages of empty nest syndrome, however, this can differ for everyone.
1. Grief
The initial shock of your child leaving home can leave you grieving as though you have lost a loved one. You may feel sad, tearful and withdrawn from the world as you adjust to the huge change in your home life.
2. Feeling relieved
It may not feel that way when you're in the midst of the grieving process, but at some point you may even experience feelings of relief after a few weeks or months. This is because by now you may have discovered some of the plus sides to an empty nest, such as more time to yourself to rediscover old hobbies or explore new ones.
3. Happiness
As you get used to your new lifestyle, you will likely feel happy to have reached a new chapter in your life, and have settled into a new routine. By now you will hopefully have established a new relationship with your child and can feel proud of all you have achieved in raising an independent young adult who is now ready to find their own way in the world.
How do you beat empty nest syndrome?
Amanda Jenner, parenting expert and founder of My Carry Potty, has shared her expert tips for anyone experiencing empty nest syndrome after their teenager has left home.
Seek support if you are experiencing empty nest syndrome
- Seek support: Find support from groups or parents going through a similar experience. Meet up for a coffee and have a chat about how you're feeling.
- Self-Care: Take care of your body and mind by eating well, exercise regularly and make sure you get enough sleep. Everything feels a lot worse when you're tired.
- Find a new hobby: This could be taking up a new exercise class, travelling to different places whatever you want!
- Meet up with your child: If they have not moved too far away, try to organise family meals when you can, meet for walks and coffees and of course, you can pick up the phone and give them a call! Sometimes just a quick chat and knowing they're okay is enough to pick you back up.
- Find professional help: If you start to feel concerned about the way you feel, there is also professional help to help you find your feet again!
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How long does empty nest syndrome last?
How long empty nest syndrome lasts can vary a lot – some parents may only feel the effects for a few weeks, while others will be impacted for years. Research has found that empty nest syndrome can even begin before a child has left home, as an anticipatory response to their move.
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