I knew from a young age that I didn't want children.
Though I love kids and worked with them for many years, I never felt that having children of my own would make my life more complete.
I remember a friend saying it was a shame that I'd decided against becoming a mother. She said I'd be a great mum because I was a passionate advocate for children and their right to have their views heard. But I wanted the freedom to travel and explore, to discover and learn.
Though I know my own mum would have loved grandchildren, she never once put pressure on me. She reassured me that I'd wanted to be independent from a young age and had always wanted the freedom to do what was best for me.
Making my decision
I grew up in the late 1970s, a time of global unrest and not having children became a conscious decision. I decided I didn't want to bring anyone into a world full of unrest and instability. Despite this, people called me selfish for not having kids, which I always found bizarre.
I was considering the environmental costs of a child on the planet. Was that selfish?
© Marcus AhmadAs I approached my thirties, the comments and judgment ramped up. "Don't you think it's time you settled down and started a family?" people asked. "Time is marching on, you don't have forever", they cautioned. "You don't want to leave it too late", "Don't you want someone to teach about?"
The answer was no. None of it bothered me.
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I remember finding it mildly irritating and I'd confidently tell them I'd made a conscious decision not to have children because of the state of the world. I could, if I wanted, adopt.
And still, I'd hear the, "Oh you’ll feel different in the future", or "Who's going to look after you when you're old?" or "You'll regret it."
© Marchus AhmadSociety's expectations
Perhaps people felt threatened because I wasn't following the expectations conventional society set out for us. Yet I decided early on, I wasn't going to follow that set of rules.
I've had great adventures on my travels and learned so much from different cultures. I've worked with street children in Colombia and walked pumas in the jungle. These are things I wouldn't have experienced if I'd had children. It's always been the right decision for me.
