Remember in February when I said 2024 was going to be my guilt-free joy year? October was exactly that. It was packed to the brim with things I really love but also, I've had the confidence to politely decline things I know aren't for me and to stop when I need to - 2023 Louise wouldn't recognise me!
My youngest daughter, Pearl, six, seems to have followed my lead when it comes to declining things not quite right for her, too. Let me explain.
Dance mum life stepped up a gear in October, because Pearl and Darcy's theatre school performed at Disneyland Paris. That's pretty exciting for me as a mum just watching them, so I can only imagine how exciting that would be as a child.
You and all your dance friends going en masse to the happiest place on earth to do what you love most in all the world… the vibes were high!
Months of rehearsals, hours in the car driving to practice, tonnes of costumes and more hairspray than I care to think about… The show was a roaring success and three days riding rollercoasters with all their friends made core memories I hope Pearl and Darcy cherish for the rest of their lives.
So, you might be surprised to know that it was this week, at Disney, that one of my girls quit. Bit of a plot twist!
Quitting doesn't come easily to me. I was taught that you should never, ever give up. If you want to be successful you try, try and try again. I will grit my teeth and keep going with something until the bitter end and as I've gone through 2024 putting guilt-free joy at the forefront, I’ve realised the 'bitter end' isn't anywhere I want to be. Unless something is essential, why should you grit your teeth and stick it out?
'I’ve realised the 'bitter end' isn't anywhere I want to be.'
Pearl is six and has been dancing since she was three. She joined the theatre school because Darcy was there and loved it. As Pearl has grown in character, she's found interests of her own such as science, Lego sets and tennis. She mentioned a while back that she didn't want to dance anymore and we said we'd do the things we'd already committed to (such as the Disney trip) but if she still didn't want to do it after that, she could stop. And so she did.
For weeks I felt like I was failing because we were 'quitting'. Their theatre school is amazing, Darcy has done so much there and the staff are almost like family at this point. But, right now, it's not Pearl's thing and so we carefully and mindfully 'quit'.
Quitting doesn’t have to be horrible. You don't have to leave in a blaze of glory, burning bridges as you go. Quitting can actually mean respecting yourself, respecting other people (the theatre school has wait lists for many classes so I expect someone else will be so grateful for Pearl's space) and opening yourself up to new opportunities.
I don't want my children to grow up chained to things they feel they ought to do when actually they have the freedom to make healthy, happy choices. Again of course there are things that have to be done like going to school and brushing your teeth but I think you know what I mean.
Perhaps teaching children how to respectfully quit is as important as teaching them how to stick at things. In fact, I wish someone had taught me this as a younger adult because at 39, I'm really only just learning it.
'Perhaps teaching children how to respectfully quit is as important as teaching them how to stick at things?'
Is there anything in your life now, that you don’t massively love and don't NEED to do? Could you politely step back from something to make space for something else? It might be a big weekly commitment like a club but it could also be you're not loving the book you’re currently reading or you've watched two series of the latest Netflix must-see so you feel you should watch the third even though it's not grabbing you.
Stop. Time is precious. Joy is important. Take a leaf out of Pearl's book and say, "I just like Lego sets more than dancing right now, and that's okay".
Maybe one day she'll don her little satin ballet slippers again (quietly I very much hope she does) and maybe one day you'll pick that thing back up, but for now, here's to mindfully, carefully and respectfully quitting, all in the name of guilt-free joy.
LOUISE'S COLUMN: Why putting my kids first yet still making time for me is the ultimate juggle
Aside from the big bombshell, here's what else we got up to in October, making it my most joyful, guilt-free month of 2024 so far…
Finding inspiration
I started the month at a Tiktok Creator Summit that really inspired me creatively. You hear so much about TikTok just being for Gen Z but I promise you there is space for everyone and I have to say, the Gen Z creators are actually extremely welcoming.
If you have a passion for anything whatsoever, there's a slice of TikTok for you - either as a scroller or an uploader. I urge you to give it a go, it's not all what you think it is, I promise.
Mother-daughter time
I took my youngest daughter Pearl to a BFI film premiere for Wild Robot and cried more than I thought I would for a children's movie – it had such a touching message of maternal love.
My eldest daughter Darcy and I went to MusicalCon where she was fully immersed in her love of theatre.
Podcasting
October also saw me appear on two incredible podcasts – Saving Grace with GK Barry and Working Hard, Hardly Working with Grace Beverley.
Both Graces are hardworking, successful powerhouses so it was a pleasure and honour to spend time with them. If you haven’t listened to either of their podcasts, you're missing out. Add them to your listen list and thank me later.
Time with friends
I've wanted to make more time for friends this year and I made that happen in a big way this month. I work with the fabulous P&O Cruises showcasing some of their beautiful destinations or offering ideas for how you can enjoy a holiday with them – I know, what an awful job haha!
I've cruised with family lots but I really wanted to show how amazing a girls' trip could be onboard. Think cocktails, spa treatments, food (so much food!), stunning destinations and really, really good quality time. My pal Faye and I have been friends since she stepped out of a lift on the first day of university in 2003 but with kids, jobs and 150 miles between us, quality time is sparse – I suspect we all have friendships like this. So, it was such a joy (guilt-free for 2024!) to spend four days onboard Arvia with her catching up and putting the world to rights. I enjoyed it so much that I've already blocked out dates for 2025 and suggest you do too, grab the cals and set up the WhatsApp groups now before Christmas mania hits.
The girls' trip was Monday to Friday and although we had an absolute blast, we both missed our children a lot. I came home to mine and squished them to bits.
I hope you've enjoyed this month's column (and that you didn’t respectfully quit reading!). Next month I have some really exciting festive news for you and of course, will be sharing all the goss as we enter the festive party season, woohoo!
Until then, you can find me on every social media platform, @LouisePentland and I’ll see you soon.