Social media can feel like a minefield for parents when it comes to protecting children from online harm – and digital safety is an important issue for TV presenter and mum of two Tess Daly.
When HELLO! catches up with the Strictly Come Dancing host – who has daughters Phoebe, 20, and Amber, 15, with her husband, fellow presenter Vernon Kay – she reveals how the couple have navigated online safety during their children’s teenage years.
"Anything that helps keep teenage children safer online is a godsend because as parents we’re concerned"
Tess, 55, says of her daughters: "They’re actually quite savvy for their age about social media and would never respond to anything negative – that’s really not a part of their online world.
"They’re wise enough to know that social media is about treating people with respect and kindness, just as you would in real life. We do what we can to point them in the right direction and keep them safe."
Tess is working alongside tech giant Meta, which has introduced Teen Accounts on social media platform Instagram – a new online experience for teenagers, guided by parents. The accounts are automatically private, have a 60-minute time limit and include a sleep mode that mutes notifications at night.
Here, she talks to HELLO! about keeping her family safe online – and why she believes kindness is a superpower.
Tess, how do you find parenting teens in the digital age?
"I think kids are a lot more pragmatic about social media than we ever were – it’s sort of second nature. But that doesn’t mean they don’t need guidelines.
"We’ve always been big on: ‘You will never communicate with somebody you haven’t physically met or who isn’t a friend of yours.’ As a parent, it’s about keeping your child safe – and that is my number one priority for my kids."
What online safety rules do you have in your house?
"They were never allowed phones in their bedrooms until they were 15, and we have a cut-off time for the youngest, Amber, at 10pm because she’s got school the next day. We’re vigilant about that. And, like most parents I know, there are no phones at meal times.
"We’ve always limited screen time but it becomes increasingly challenging when your child socialises online a lot.
"My daughter wasn’t allowed Snapchat until she was 13; if she didn’t have it, she literally would not be able to communicate with her peers because that’s how they arrange their social plans.
"Phoebe, our eldest, was private on Instagram until she was 17 or 18. We believe children should be young adults before they become public on social media. Because before that they’re still kids."
Tell us about Instagram’s new Teen Accounts…
"Anything that helps keep teenage children safer online is a godsend because as parents we’re concerned. Our children have access to social media and we do want to regulate that.
"But it’s not necessarily that practical to go into their bedroom on an hourly basis and check who they’re talking to and how long for.
"So the new Teen Account settings Meta has introduced are really useful and quite reassuring for parents.They help regulate the amount of time your teen spends online – it shuts off automatically between 10pm and 7am."
How do you think people can be kinder online?
"I think your benchmark has to be: ‘We must treat people as we wish to be treated.’ If you’re a kind, civilised, decent human being, why would you ever be unkind or spiteful online? Every comment is there for posterity; it represents who you are.
"Can you imagine if we were all kind to each other – what a better world that would be."
It’s World Kindness Day on 13 November. Who is the kindest person in your life and why?
"My mum is the sweetest, most positive person I’ve ever been lucky enough to spend time in the company of. I’ve grown up with that and I’d like to think it rubs off on you. Kindness is a superpower.
"People may be rude to you in a shop, but you don’t know what they’ve had to deal with that day. When in doubt, treat anyone you can with kindness."
To read the full exclusive interview, pick up the latest issue of HELLO! on sale in the UK on Monday. You can subscribe to HELLO! to get the magazine delivered free to your door every week or purchase the digital edition online via our Apple or Google apps.