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How TikTok's 'very demure, very mindful' trend made modesty modish again

Bid farewell to Brat Girl Summer - main character energy is out for autumn

Tania Leslau
Fashion features writer
August 14, 2024
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How to define ‘demure?’ The mysterious girl at the bar who coolly swirls an olive around her martini glass while waiting for her friend to return from the ladies. The guest that hovers in the shadowy corners of a party, unafraid to leave the soirée early. Anna Wintour perched front row while shielding herself from the crowds via opaque lenses. No frills, not fuss. Just - demure. 

Demure behaviour has become TikTok’s latest musing. A trend kickstarted by content creator Jools Lebron, acting ‘very demure, very mindful,’ is the quiet antidote to main character energy social media craved.

Since the first viral clip earlier this month, there has been in excess of 220,000 videos made using the hashtag '#demure' on TikTok. People are posting their meals, daily office fits, talking about their nights out and even finishing emails in a ‘demure and mindful way,’ demonstrating that the concept isn’t solely a trend, it’s a lifestyle. 

According to new research by jewellery brand PRYA, searches for ‘very demure, very mindful TikTok’ increased by 5,000 per cent in the past week on Google in the UK, kicking Brat Girl Summer to the curb. 

@joolieannie

#fyp #demure @OAKCHA @Paul | Fragrance Influencer

♬ original sound - Jools Lebron

“How to be demure and modest and respectful at the workplace,” the trending TikTokker starts off by saying, “You see how I do my makeup for work? Very demure, very mindful.” 

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Arwa Hassan, in-house style director at PRYA said: “A satirical video about workplace beauty etiquette quickly expanded as TikTok users incorporated the phrase “very demure, very mindful” into various contexts. Demure does technically mean “reserved, modest and shy” but TikTok users are using it to describe fashion, makeup and attitude – even if they’re not being totally serious.”

Rooney Mara© Getty
Rooney Mara
Paris SS25© Imaxtree
Paris SS25
Saint Laurent SS23© Imaxtree
Saint Laurent SS23

While there are various items one can purchase in order to perfect their demure persona, oval-shaped sunglasses, delicate jewellery and a great pair of cigarette trousers et al, the trend is as much an outlook as it is an actual look. 

Remaining cool, calm and collected at all times is key. Think ironically camera-shy actors like Rooney Mara who stay clear of the limelight at any given occasion. Think Audrey Tatou’s cherry-lipped, bob-haired character Amélie, who is shielded away from the bustling Montmartre streets. Think Jane Eyre. Each is an individual lesson in the art of acting demure.

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Don’t be fooled. Being demure doesn’t mean dulling your shine. The concept prioritises mystery over being the main event and is best understood by women who know that elegance is eternal. 

And let's be honest, in an age where social media allows for serious oversharing, the demure trend is the ultimate, understated power move. It’s fashion’s way of telling us that sometimes, the best things are hidden in plain sight.

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