Hi, my name is Rosie and I’m living, breathing proof that you get happier from midlife onwards.
According to Professor Oswald, a Warwick University researcher, happiness follows a U-shaped pattern over our life span. It peaks at eighteen, dips to its lowest point in your mid-forties, then climbs upwards thereafter.
What joyous news! Turns out the youth don’t have the monopoly on happiness after all. A boon for us midlifers who were anticipating a slow decline into despondency and compression socks.
© S Meddle/ITV/ShutterstockOswald says the pattern is pretty universal across genders and continents and I fit it perfectly. Except I was a smidge early for my nadir moment.
After an exultant twenties (as a stylist at a glossy fashion magazine - it was all Choos, canapés and taping up SJP’s boobs to ensure peak perkiness), I’ll admit to a gentle decline in joy over the following decade.
My thirties were blessed with babies, but the work/life juggle was real. Still, I was ticking off all the milestones - marriage, children, countryside move - feeling exhausted, but vaguely smug.
Until, wham, 45 hit. That year my husband left me and my job ‘ceased to exist.’ All on one hideous January day. Now I was plummeting into a ravine of despair and when I hit the bottom of that U (okay, it was more like a V) I did so at high velocity.
It wasn’t pretty. But after throwing myself a pity party and spending too long in very unflattering athleisure wear, I decided I could either drown in my tears or strap on the crampons and climb up towards the chink of light.
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I chose the latter and friends, therapy and exercise propelled me forwards until one day I realised it was all getting exponentially better. Like really good.
I encountered joys I hadn’t ever anticipated. The thrill of dating. Then new love. A revived career (now I had a story worth writing about). And suddenly my children were capable of brushing their own teeth unsupervised, replacing loo rolls (occasionally) and were actually great to hang out with.
I’m sure there will be more challenges to come, but for now Oswald is right, the direction of travel is most definitely upwards.
© InstagramI’ve realised that this happiness comes from experience, a new confidence and greater self-knowledge.
So, whether you are anticipating, entering, or emerging from your midpoint - how great is it to think your best days are ahead of you?
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My happiness manifesto
Know uncool is the new cool
Anyone else remember being crippled with insecurity as a youth? Ditching that shocking pink outfit for the black one because it can’t be ridiculed. Now? Don’t care. Last month I showed Kate Moss my banana holder. I’m not sure why and she looked suitably horrified, but I didn’t care a jot.
Be realistic (mainly about love)
Happiness guru Mo Gawdat says discontent germinates in the gap between expectation and reality. I was guilty of believing the movie version of life actually existed and feeling constantly hard done by when it didn’t materialise for me. No longer.
Don’t fear rejection
It’s a primal instinct to try and swerve it (in caveman days your survival depended on being accepted by the group). But the truth it’s you can’t avoid it, so instead work on building resilience so you can brush it off.
Visit HELLO!'s Second Act hub for inspiring stories of women living their best midlife.
