We have a complicated relationship with underwear, don't we? On one hand we love it - the beautiful lace, the seductive silk, the pretty patterns. But the reality is often a dispiriting collection of smalls, often grey and sagging, a few so uncomfortable you couldn’t countenance wearing them and then the super sexy ones (often bought by a man) that feel faintly ridiculous.
My underwear has been through many stages. In my 20s it was a thing of delight, then in the young mum years it was depressing. When I found myself suddenly single in my mid-forties I knew it had to be tackled. From my years assisting Trinny and Susannah I knew the uplifting, form-flattering power of good undies, yet I had knickers older than my teenagers and bras that were shapeless and offered zero support.
Fate threw me into Susana Lorena’s lingerie shop, Maison SL, in London's Notting Hill. She has spent 25 years fitting people for bras and can pretty much tell what size you are from sight.
She tells me it's essential to update your selection, especially for mid-life or beyond women.
"Our bodies change as we get older. As our hormone balance shifts, I see women who have developed a tummy or have added an inch or two to their waist. Back sizes often go up and the skin changes, losing firmness." Susana says around this time women often get bigger boobs too, which can be a positive. "I used to have mosquito bites and now I have a full C," laughs Susana.
We agree the important thing is to accept your body is different and stop buying underwear for the old you. This is a bit of a mental challenge, but it's so worth it.
Now I understand finances or distance might preclude you from getting to Susana's boutique, but here are her rules for finding great underwear.
Stop unsightly bulges
One secret is to find a bra that doesn't contain elastin because elastin loses its shape very quickly. The luxury brands, where bras cost about £120, last much longer because they use better materials. Look at Empreinte's 'Anouk' or 'Melody' styles.
Pay more for your bra if you have big boobs - it'll be worth it
It's all about good engineering and that's reflected in the price. A 40F bra will be made up of 49 to 50 pieces whereas a 34C could have as little as 35 pieces. Plus the back and hooks etc are different.
Know you can get sexy bras for big boobs
These days you can absolutely have pretty sexy bras in any size. Forget the old boulder holders, brands like Fleur of England are designed by women for women and offer good support. They go to up a 38 inch back and a G cup size.
DISCOVER: How I cracked the secret to midlife happiness at 49
It's possible to find chic tummy smoothing knickers
If you are looking to smooth, streamline and support your tummy you can absolutely have a pretty design. You don't need to wrestle yourself into Spanx. I think a proper high waist is the most flattering. I like the smoothing seamless styles front with panel support by Empreinte ('Melody' style), Wacoal ('Eglantine' style) and Cosabella ('Never High Waist' style).
Visit Susana at www.maisonsl.com