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Why is being frantically busy a status symbol?

HELLO!'s Second Act columnist Rosie Green hasn't stopped in two decades – and it's harming her health and relationships

By: Rosie Green

August 30, 2024Aug 30, 2024, 4:38 PM GMT+1

"Have you got a minute?" My (internal) response to this question is always: "Nope and I haven't had since about 2005."

I am busy, busy. Every day I am going at it full tilt from dawn till dusk (and then some). Working, parenting, exercising, socialising, cleaning and tidying – Sir Keir Starmer's schedule has nothing on mine. And if, by some miracle, I do get some spare seconds, I'll squeeze something else in.

My boyfriend jokes I'm "time boxing" him, and my friends laugh that I'm like the Duracell Bunny. Only lately I've been thinking my full-on approach might not be so funny.

Rosie Green exercising by river in black sports bra and leggings — Rosie has been busy for decades

I've witnessed a few similarly inclined friends burn out, some sliding into crippling depression and anxiety. The cult of busy has long been ingrained in us. For Gen X-ers like me, being "frantic" has become a status symbol, "always on" a badge of honour.

But now, the tide is turning and experts are saying taking adequate rest is not just good, but essential, recognising it can have huge benefits – physically, mentally and creatively.

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Recently, Adele said she is taking a "big break" to recharge because her tank is empty and she isn't even singing in the shower any more. Dr. Charlotte Verney, lifestyle medicine practitioner at One5 Health, says rest is vital for maintaining physical health, a healthy weight and a well-functioning immune system. Plus, it wards off high blood pressure and type 2 diabetes.

She tells me that most of the midlife women who come to see her suffering from exhaustion, headaches and increased anxiety are not prioritising rest. And if we lack rest, we can find ourselves in a constant state of stress, which can lead to an "increased risk of incident coronary heart disease and stroke".

INSPIRATION: I was chronically busy – here's how I finally learned to rest

And what about mental health? Fiona Murden, a performance psychologist who works with chief executives and elite athletes, says: "When we neglect rest it can be hugely detrimental. Stress levels rise, leading to heightened anxiety, irritability and disrupted moods, which over time can result in mental health issues. Conversely, enough rest enhances our relationships since it's hard to engage meaningfully when we're worn out."

Does the same go for exercise? I'm still in that 1990s mindset of "feel the burn" and "pain is just weakness leaving the body". But I am wrong, according to personal trainer Aimee Victoria Long, who works with celebrities such as Queen Charlotte actress India Amarteifio.

Woman standing against a tree in short denim shorts and no shoes — Rosie is learning to take it easier

Many of her midlife women clients feel the pressure to maintain a certain level of fitness and appearance and so often overlook the importance of rest and recovery. "But rest is not a sign of weakness," she says. "It's an essential part of a balanced fitness routine. It can make you leaner and stronger, allowing muscles to grow and repair. It plays a significant role preventing injuries and in achieving optimal performance."

So, er, how do you rest well? In terms of exercise, Aimee recommends having at least one or two rest days per week. "This doesn’t mean you have to be completely sedentary; it can involve low-intensity activities such as stretching, swimming or walking." The latter is often called "active rest".

Shot of a young woman relaxing on the sofa at home — Rest is crucial for our wellbeing, say experts

Charlotte adds: "The aim is to switch off and trigger the calming parasympathetic nervous system. This could be spending time in nature or being mindful, allowing thoughts to come and go without judging them. It's about slowing down our breathing, putting away devices and learning that an immediate response is not always needed."

Excellent. Now please excuse me while I treat myself to a long-overdue lie-down

Love midlife? Join Second Act today!

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HELLO! originally launched its Second Act hub to reframe midlife and beyond as a celebratory, exciting new chapter full of endless possibilities. From inspirational tales of women who refuse to fade into the background, to valuable advice on navigating relationships, finances and health issues – we've featured them all. And such has been the overwhelmingly positive response from readers, we are now turning the hub into a FULL and FREE community where women like you can come together to shape something truly inspiring.

The cornerstones of the community will be two brand new newsletters. One monthly and one weekly. We are really excited about the monthly newsletter which will be themed and written by one of our roster of leading Second Act voices, including our editor at large, Rosie Green. The content will be reserved exclusively for Second Act subscribers.

We are also launching a monthly mentoring series, in the form of a five-minute video sent directly to your inbox featuring financial professionals, hormone specialists, life coaches and more. Again, it will be reserved exclusively for subscribers.

Below we have listed the inaugural benefits, and more will be added as we grow and shape the community. If you wish to help us shape our community, please take part in our one-slide survey here.