Society is unforgiving towards ageing. In particular, if you are a woman.
A woman apparently has a sell-by-date which somehow doesn't apply to men. Over the age of 40, especially for those in the public eye where everything is amplified, we women are on dodgy ground. When you reach 50, be ready to disappear.
This is true even if you are fit, wrinkle-free and successful. I discovered this one day when I was about 45. I was starring in a new TV series and did a big interview and photoshoot for the weekend magazine of a newspaper. It was a fabulous spread with great photos, but the headline stopped me in my tracks.
It said "Glynis Barber – the vintage vixen". Besides the obvious ageism in 'vintage', it also reduced my two decades in the acting business, with some major projects under my belt, to 'vixen'.
The male producer, who was thrilled with the amount of publicity, thought it was hilarious. He loved it. He was about the same age as me, so I couldn't help wondering how he would've felt if he had been described as an 'over the hill sexy hunk' for example? But, of course, that would never happen.
Last week there was outrage after Woman’s Hour's female presenter, introduced her guest, Michelle Yeoh, as a 'Bond girl'. The Oscar winning, martial arts expert is a highly talented and accomplished actress, so why are women constantly reduced and diminished?
Coming into our own in midlife
The fact is that when a woman reaches the age of 40, she really starts to come into her own. It's often trial and error and lack of confidence before that. By the time you reach 40, you've learnt a thing or two.
Women often start to unleash incredible creative energy in midlife. Many women start a new business in their fifties or start writing novels or painting or doing something they've always dreamt of but never had time for before.
In midlife, the child rearing years are over and finally we have time to concentrate on ourselves and start fulfilling all our potential that's often lain dormant.
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The truth is that older women are amazing. After a lifetime of looking after other people, multi-tasking and organising, we have a formidable skill set.
Being this age can be incredibly rich and fulfilling. The angst of youth has gone, we know who we are and don't care if others don't have the insight to see it.
Taking control at 50
When I look back at what I've done since I turned 50, it's been the most fulfilling part of my work life. I've taken control and ownership of my career. As a self-employed actor, I was always completely reliant on someone else deciding to employ me or not. Until I began to take charge of it myself.
So, what did I do after I turned 50?
1. I started my Ageless by Glynis Barber website
It terrified me to start. as I had no idea what I would talk about every week. Or even how to do it. But I did it anyway. Something I wouldn't have had the courage to do when I was younger. I was able to indulge my passion for health and wellbeing and gave myself a creative outlet that has now kept me busy for 12 years.
2. I became a soap star
I starred in EastEnders for over a year as Glenda Mitchell which was tremendous fun as well as very hard work. I also ended up going into Hollyoaks a decade later, playing a formidable gangster boss.
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3. I wrote for magazine
I started writing articles for magazines about health, beauty and anything related to life and womanhood.
4. West End acting
I've starred in a number of plays in the West End. Some of them turned out to be a high point in my career and I made lifelong friends with much younger actors.
5. I started a YouTube channel
I expanded Ageless by starting the Ageless YouTube channel. I've created videos on meditation, anxiety, health and beauty. No-one has ever turned down my request for an interview. I've talked to a cardiologist, a GP specialising in hormones, writers, a biochemist, an academic with a PHD in public health and nutrition, several founders of female run businesses, as well as a gold medal Olympic athlete.
6. My voiceover career took off
I've forged a thriving career in voice overs, where in my sixties, I have somehow become one of the most used voices on Channel 5 for documentaries.
The fact is my life is busier and more diverse workwise than ever before. And much of it I've created for myself. I barely have time for a regular acting job these days as there's always so much else to do. I don't do anything that I don't want to do and am not afraid to say no.
Defining women by their age
It's therefore a real shame that society, fuelled by the media, continues to define women by their age. Indeed, age and value seem to be intertwined. But let's be honest, we all know what that's about, don't we?
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So, how do we achieve change? Some people predict that mainstream media is on the way out and social media will become even more influential. In a way this is empowering, because on social media we have control of our own narrative.
I never liked doing interviews before, because the tone of the piece would always change and not be a true reflection of me. It became more about the attitude of the interviewer towards me.
I found Twitter, now known as X, liberating when I first joined, because for the first time in my career, the words I was putting out to people were my very own and unfiltered.
Through all these new mediums, women are finding their voices more and more. They are challenging the usual narrative and finding all sorts of ways to communicate with other women.
Look at Davina McCall, for instance. Even though she's a successful presenter, she used Instagram to start a country-wide conversation about the menopause. Thanks to her and many other vocal women, the subject has finally come out into the open.
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This is the way forward. Taking control of the dialogue around women's issues and challenging misogynistic or sexist behaviour and attitudes, by using all the different mediums.
These platforms allow us to reach, re-educate and enlighten a global audience. For all its dangers and pitfalls, social media can make us visible on our own terms. And, at the end of the day, that is surely what we all want? To be heard clearly and seen fully.