The Diana Award Chief Executive Tessy Ojo has given an insight into what spurred her on to bring about change in the UK, her work with the princes and Michelle Obama being a huge inspiration to her.
READ: The Diana Award's Tessy Ojo 'The race conversation needs to happen in all households'
Tessy is a true inspiration herself: having received a CBE for her incredible work at The Diana Award and as the first British person to receive an award in memory of Dr Martin Luther King, Jr. In a chat with HELLO!, she has laid bare the struggles she has faced as a black woman on the path to her success but also she celebrated her triumphs, her heroes and voiced her desire to help other women.
At The Diana Award, the Chief Executive has had the support of Prince William and Prince Harry as she carries out their mother's kind mission to empower young people to lead the way for change.
First hand, Tessy has witnessed Prince William and Prince Harry's kindness as she said both sons take after their mother Princess Diana - fondly known as the people's princess.
Despite her great successes, Tessy admitted she initially struggled with a lack of black role models for herself. That was until she saw Michelle Obama dancing on The Ellen DeGeneres Show. She said: "She was such an inspiration for me. It taught me how to be unapologetic about any part of me."
Tessy is a true inspiration herself
Determined to give back, Tessy has been mentoring five women each year for more than a decade. It has been such a success, she has plans to invite women in the UK to her new venture Tessy’s Brunches next year where her trailblazer and celebrity friends will share their words of wisdom and worldly experience over coffee and cake, everyone is welcome.
Here is her own story, in her own words…
You've done such an incredible amount of work highlighting the good work of young people. What originally inspired you to bring about change in the UK?
Tessy: "It came for me from a place of realising that I was living in an unequal world and a world based on who you are, what backgrounds you have, that largely determines the trajectory. My parents were diplomats and for that reason I had to kind of think there was a degree of privilege that I had but also realising there were people like me who just didn't have that. I couldn’t get my head around the why. As an eight-year-old, I often thought why have I got the right to have all of this when people like me who were eight didn't have that? It really set me on the path to bring about change. We live in an unequal world. I wanted to create a more equal world for young people."
Which black history-making person or celebrity do you celebrate - who are your inspirations and why?
Tessy: "It has to be for me Michelle Obama. When I was a chief executive, there was an absence of black role models or people I could go to. I struggled with what part of myself I should bring to this space. One of the things I really love is dance. It is very much who I am. As a chief executive, I thought I’m meant to be prim and proper. I remember when Michelle Obama danced on Ellen’s Show and I was like, 'Oh, my goodness!' She did it so gracefully. And I thought: 'That's how you bring your whole self!' She was such an inspiration for me. It taught me how to be unapologetic about any part of me, I should just bring myself. Then her book came out Becoming. So definitely Michelle."
What is the biggest challenge you faced as a black woman and how did you overcome it?
Tessy: "We still face an uphill struggle. We still live in a very unequal world. We still live in a world where people falsely judge you by the colour of your skin before they get to know you and that’s still an uphill struggle but we will continue to push against it.
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"Many years ago I was invited to speak at a political party conference in Maidenhead. It was a Saturday morning brunch event. I live in Kent so I drove to Maidenhead and whilst we are waiting to start, this woman - who I think was a local councillor - came up to me. I was the only person of colour at this event and she then said to me, 'Oh, where have you come from?' And I said, 'Oh, I live in Kent.' And she says, 'Oh yeah, the speaker is also coming from Kent.' I said, 'Yeah.' And then she said, 'Oh, the speaker is the chief executive of The Diana Award.' I said, 'Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know.' And she then goes on to say, 'Are you here accompanying the speaker?'
"Because in her head she just could not believe, even though I said I had come from Kent, I am the only person of colour here, there was no way in her mind could she compute that the chief executive of The Diana Award was also this black woman sitting next to her. To be honest, sadly you get used to that. Those levels of microaggressions happen all the time so you get used to that, but you wait for the moment to deal with that. So I knew what was going on and I knew that I could not wait a moment trying to tackle it with her, I would raise it when I spoke. I did that.
The CEO of The Diana Award has been mentoring five women each year
"As I got up to speak, thankfully we were there addressing the issues affecting women, and those issues are double when you are a woman of colour because people do not see you. You just are not visible. I just narrated what happened, I didn't mention any names. The person was literally sat next to me. When I came back to my seat, she apologised. I thought: I needed to hold you accountable because that’s wrong. Because if I was a white woman sat there, would you make the error? Would you not say, 'Oh, my God, you must be the speaker.' But there was nowhere in her mind that I could be the speaker.
"We have a long way to go. And that's why I think that visibility is so important. My hope is that for young people as they come through, the world will be a better place for them. Sadly, my children who are in their twenties, I would love for them not to encounter all of this but we rise, we push."
What personally inspired you to get involved in charity work?
Tessy: "It was one of those things that to me was completely accidental. I studied biochemistry. But something happened when I had my youngest child, and this was in 2000. I knew, leaving the maternity ward, that my children would be okay. But I realised there were other babies, like my son, and I thought will their parents be leaving the hospital with the assurance that their child would be okay? That was the moment I realised that Tessy, you've carried this for so long. I carried this for so many years and yet I hadn't actually done anything about it. It made me think I was going to try to do something. I didn't plan to leave my job but I felt I had a good chunk of maternity leave, I'm going to give my time to charity and really bring my skills to help a charity and then go back to my day job. But then I never went back.
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"It's how I ended up being asked to help with The Diana Award to continue the legacy of Princess Diana. This is what she believed in. Curating a legacy for Princess Diana was, to be honest, creating what I wanted. There was a mission alignment, of understanding what Princess Diana wanted. When I look back, every quote she gave was about investing in youth, was about making sure young people feel valued so they can live a tremendous life. It was everything about her mission. I thought it was just such an opportunity that I could not have just let it go."
How did you feel when you received your CBE from Prince William?
Tessy: "It was one of those moments I still look back at. When I got my CBE from Prince William, I also got a letter that had been signed by the Queen and Prince Philip. It had both their signatures, I remember when Prince Philip died I thought I was probably one of the last people to have got a letter that has his signature. When the Queen died, I thought this was even more precious. It is the gift that keeps on giving, each time I look at it I discover something new. It feels so precious to have. It’s one of those things I still pinch myself."
What support have you received from Prince William and Prince Harry with all your great work at the Diana Award?
Tessy: "We are so grateful to both of them. We realise as well we are one of the only charities that they both are jointly involved with now. That’s such an honour and privilege.
Tessy has worked closely with Prince William
"They are both so incredibly supportive. Only in July this year, we had both of them welcome and congratulate our batch of 2022 Award recipients and I know how much it means to the young people to get a letter from both of them, both sons of Princess Diana. For us as well, it is incredible. I am super grateful."
At HELLO! we are really passionate about kindness and the impact it can have. How do you think Prince William and Prince Harry take after Princess Diana in the way that they are kind?
Tessy: "I feel Prince William and Prince Harry definitely walk in Princess Diana's footsteps in kindness. I have been working with them for years and years. I know how much service means to them and how much it is not about duty, it is not a sense of duty, it's a value they hold onto so strongly to and wanting to have that empathy, understand the issues that young people face and really get underneath it. They don't just want to do stuff on the surface, they really want to get beneath it and really tackle that."
What ideas do you have for the future that need to change in the UK for black women and for black people everywhere?
Tessy: "One thing that happened for us in the UK was in 2020, being at home with the pandemic and the George Floyd murder shone a spotlight on stuff that we, most people, knew. I want to use my platforms to make sure women of colour feel seen. For a very long time I was the only woman of colour as a chief executive in the sector. Now we have two black female chief executives in the sector. I decided about ten years ago that every year I would mentor five women who were just starting out in their careers. They were largely going to be women of colour because I wanted to give back. The plan was to mentor five women every year and after the year I drop them. But what happened was, many of them refused to be dropped!
"Now I feel like I have this collection of women who just come along. I got to a point last year when I saw this is not possible anymore. I knew that the issues ranged from different things - even things like how do I dress? I want to bring all of me to work. How do I present myself when I go to an interview? Is it alright if I wear something colourful? Even little things like how do I present my hair when my hair isn’t straightened?
She is launching her venture Tessy’s Brunches
"I am going to run this venture called Tessy’s Brunches. Each brunch will be themed on a specific topic but rather than doing it by myself, I'm going to invite my friends, my celebrity friends to speak. I'm going to invite people of colour and not people of colour. I’m going to invite other women to come and help me fix the crown of my village. It's going to help women fix their crowns. But most importantly as well I feel like when you're growing, growing pains are easier with coffee and cake. So we are going to do it with food!"
I loved your insightful piece on HELLO! about having conversations about race at home. As a black mother, what kind of conversations have you had with your children and why is it essential every parent in the UK has this conversation?
Tessy: "Every household of colour has these conversations. This is where we flip things, we are teaching our children how to lay low, how to not be so visible so you are not attacked. No. We are not the perpetrators of racism. We need to be teaching everybody else how to behave. For years and years and years, I remember when my son went into London and I would say please don’t wear your hood, don't put your hood up because you're going to be judged. He's tall. What do you think when you see a tall black boy with his hood up? You think of gangs immediately. Misinformation clouds your mind. I teach him don't put your hood up, smile, put on your best Kent accent. This is what we do. This is what you train your children just to appease people. No, it's wrong. The pressure should not be on my son to prove to people he is not a bad guy. How would you like to be judged? It’s about empathy. This is the conversation we should all have. Ultimately, racism happens because one group wants to perpetrate something for misinformation about the other. So the pressure should never be on the person on the receiving end. The pressure should be on the perpetrator and say, 'No, we're not going to do things this way.'"
A lot of celebrities have called for black history to become part of the national curriculum, including Lewis Hamilton. You work so much with young people, what could schools be doing to help?
Tessy: "One of the ways in which this whole stereotyping has been perpetrated is by wiping off black achievement from everywhere. In a few weeks we are going to be celebrating Remembrance Day, you never hear that there were black people involved in fighting. By wiping away all of the achievements of black people, by only talking about black people in the negative you are perpetrating and reinforcing that stereotype. If that didn’t happen, people would understand for Britain to be great today it’s taking everybody.
"When we talk about the black curriculum, it’s about putting all of that back in. If we do that, then you would not have the five-year-old thinking only white people built Great Britain therefore anyone else who has come in is a leech. It no longer becomes about us and them. You see me as a contributor, we are jointly inheriting the efforts of our ancestors. I would rather we didn’t have Black History Month. I would rather make sure the curriculum included everyone who contributed to our history and therefore we don't have a need to dedicate a month."
What steps can people take in being more diverse?
Tessy: "Look on your phone, who were the last ten people you spoke to? Were they just completely like you? Do they think like you? Act like you? Behave 100% like you? Where is your diverse thinking coming from? You can’t live in an echo chamber. You can’t. If you want to be diverse in your thinking, it’s easy for me to say go and read books, but more than that, go check your own social circles. Your life will be richer for it."
Photographer: Amanda Akokhia @amandaakokhiaphotography
Wardrobe Stylist: UO Styling @uo_styling
Makeup Artist: Mana Mumin @manamumin
Dresses: DIVALUKKY @divalukky
Jewellery: Krystal London @wearekrystal
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