Meghan Markle has revealed that a red carpet photo of her and Prince Harry, taken at an engagement in 2019 still haunts her.
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Talking to Oprah during their two-hour interview, the Duchess of Sussex appeared tearful as she described the hidden pain she was carrying during the public appearance at the Royal Albert Hall in January 2019.
WATCH: Harry and Meghan arrive at Cirque du Soleil in 2019
Meghan and Harry were attending the premiere of Cirque du Soleil's Totem show and on the day, the pregnant royal looked stunning in a full-length- navy sequin Roland Mouret gown, whilst Harry looked dapper in a navy suit.
Despite them looking glowing and smiling in the pictures, Meghan went on to admit what was going on behind the scenes.
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"One of the things that still haunts me is this photograph that someone had sent me, we had to go to an official event at the Royal Albert Hall.
Prince Harry and Meghan at the engagement
"A friend said: 'I know that you don't look at pictures, but oh my god, you guys look so great' and sent it to me." Meghan then told Oprah that after zooming in to see the picture she saw "the truth of what that moment was," which was that just before the event, she had told Prince Harry that she "didn't want to be alive anymore." She then went on to explain that even though Harry suggested not going to the event she didn't want to "be alone". "Every time those lights went down in that royal box, I was just weeping. "He (Harry) was gripping my hand and it was 'Okay an intermission's coming, the lights are about to come on, everyone's looking at us again' … and you had to just be 'on' again.
The royal was pregnant with her first child
"You have no idea what’s going on for someone behind closed doors. You've no idea. "Even the people that smile the biggest smiles and shine the brightest lights, it seems," she told Oprah.– Anyone who needs support should call Samaritans for free on 116 123 (UK and ROI), email jo@samaritans.org or visit the Samaritans website. In the US, the show was broadcast on Sunday evening on CBS. In the UK, CBS Presents Oprah with Meghan and Harry will be broadcast on Monday night at 9pm on ITV, and on ITV hub.