The Duke of Sussex has opened up about the one memory that will always stand out for him from his mother Princess Diana's funeral. Speaking on The Me You Can't See, his new mental health series with Oprah Winfrey, Harry said: "When my mum was taken away from me at the age of 12, just before my 13th birthday, I didn't want the [royal] life. Sharing the grief of my mother's death with the world."
Harry recalled on the Apple TV+ show: "For me, the thing I remember the most was the sound of the horses' hooves going along the pavement. Along the Mall, the red brick road. By this point I was, both of us were in shock. It was like I was outside of my body and just walking along doing what was expected of me.
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"Showing one tenth of the emotion that everybody else was showing. I thought, 'This is my mum. You never even met her.'"
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Speaking to Oprah, Harry revealed that he has spent the past four years in therapy, and that the worst period in his life, which he calls a "nightmare", was from the ages of 28 to 32.
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As footage of Princess Diana taking a young Harry to school flashed up on screen, the Duke admitted: "I always wanted to be normal as opposed to Prince Harry. Just being Harry. It was a puzzling life. But unfortunately, when I think about my mum the first thing that comes to mind is always the same one over and over again.
Harry was just 12 when his mum died
"Strapped in the car, seatbelt across with my brother in the car as well and my mother driving being chased by three, four, five mopeds with paparazzi on and then she was always unable to drive because of tears. There was no protection.
"One of the feelings that comes up with me always is the helplessness. Being too young. Being a guy but too young to be able to help a woman, in this case your mother. And that happened every single day."
Harry stars in The Me You Can't See
Reflecting on his decision to quit royal life, Harry, who is expecting a baby daughter with his wife Meghan Markle this summer, added: "Towards my late 20s I was starting to ask questions of 'Should I really be here?' and that was when I suddenly started going, 'You can't keep hiding from this.'
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"Family members have said, 'Just play the game and your life will be easier,' but I've got a hell of a lot of my mum in me. I feel as though I'm outside of the system, but I'm still stuck there. The only way to free yourself and break out is to tell the truth."
Harry and Meghan surprised the world when they announced their decision to step back from royal life in 2020. They have since relocated to the US with their two-year-old son Archie and are focusing on philanthropic work.
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