For as long as I can remember I have been nervous around dogs, which I guess makes the decision to stay in the pub awarded 'Dog Friendly Accommodation of the Year' at The Yorkshire Post Tourism Awards 2023 a bemusing one.
Well, I have a confession… by the time I realised The Lister Arms was effectively the Garden of Eden for dogs, it was too late to do anything about it – I was already there. And having hauled my family five hours up the A1M to get to the bucolic heart of Yorkshire, there was no way I would have been allowed to about-turn anyway.
Yet life is full of unlikely pairings (who knew Elton John and Eminem were good friends?) and, as it turned out, sticking a cynophobe (someone who fears dogs, to save the Google search) into Yorkshire's premiere pooch pub was one such asymmetrical but successful coming together.
First impressions
Any five-hour car journey with small children is likely to result in both physical and mental discomfort. Our journey was no different but seeing the welcoming sight of The Lister Arms at its end was one not just for sore eyes but sore bottoms too.
Nestled in the almost supernaturally picturesque village of Malham in the heart of The Yorkshire Dales, The Listers Arms is a Grade II-listed 17th century coaching inn named after local grandee and landowner Thomas Lister. Skipping forward a few centuries to 2007, the inn was acquired and refurbished by hospitality firm Daniel Thwaites. This refurbishment was complemented by the addition of the Lister barn in 2014, more on which later.
Walking into the The Lister Arms for the first time, it was clear that none of the inn's historical charm has been lost in the course of its modernisation. Roaring fire. Tick. Comfy sofas. Tick. Friendly staff. Tick. An excellent range of local beers. Tick. None of these ingredients are particularly rare, but that's not the point. When done well, and served in combination, their appeal is timeless.
Communal luxury
The sense of wellbeing that suffused my body was somewhat short-lived. No matter how amenable the surrounds, unpacking a car full of luggage and other child-related paraphernalia in the cold and wet is not a task that can ever be carried out gladly.
For our two-night stay we were housed in the aforementioned Lister barn, an eight-bedroom property replete with a spacious communal area. It is this sense of space which makes the barn such a good option both for dog and small-children owners alike. As do the hard-wearing carpets, removing the sense of guilt attendant on wheeling a muddy pram into an otherwise pristine establishment. What is actually really impressive is that the barn manages to pull off a sense of luxury despite being assailed daily by herds of dogs, hiking boots and families.
We were certainly more than happy with our living quarters which were divided into three areas. A lounge-cum-bedroom, a master bedroom, and a delightfully ample bathroom with a separate shower and bath – the latter of which was moulded to a depth that allowed for comfortable full-body immersion (a nice contrast to our ergonomically challenged bath at home).
Now what is better after a nice bath than a few drinks and a good chat? The barn's communal area provides the perfect environment, adding a dollop of sociability to the accommodation. The second afternoon of our stay saw the heavens open and so we were very grateful to have somewhere where the pram could be rolled unimpeded and the six-year-old stretch her legs…
Defying culinary expectations
Breakfast and dinner were laid on back at the pub itself, and the walk over there while short involved crossing the bordering brook by wheeling the buggy over a rather narrow stone bridge. Absolutely fine for breakfast, but certainly a tad more hazardous coming back from dinner in the dark with a belly full of food and drink.
Talking of food and drink, it is not an overstatement to say my wife and I were absolutely astonished by the quality of what was on offer. Indeed, she subsequently declared it was the best pub food she has ever tasted. I'm inclined to agree. Here's a link to the pub's current menus.
I was wowed by both tempura-based starters, and the Steak and Thwaites ale pie was so comforting I nearly cuddled it. My culinary highlight, however, was the verdant curry I woofed down on our last night. I was told that The Lister Arms' chefs hail from India, and it showed in the execution. My wife's favourite meal came at the other end of the day in the shape of a delectable Eggs Benedict.
The children’s menu was of course less varied but struck the right balance between being beige enough to not frighten the horses but flavoursome enough not to be boring. My oldest was particularly pleased with the chicken strips, as you can see by the empty plate and her smiling face in this picture.
God's own country
There's a very good reason why Yorkshire is known as God's own country. The scenery is irrefutably godly. And even by Yorkshire's deific standards, Malham is deemed to be particularly beautiful.
What makes the spot so appealing for families and dog-owners alike (dog-owning families are of course a possibility too!) is that you can walk out from the village and in under 30 minutes be staring at Malham Cove, a 260 foot high sheer cliff face carved from limestone and shaped over many centuries by a now desiccated glacial waterfall. It is as close as nature gets to a place of worship.
Such is its otherworldliness, it was even used as a filming location in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, with Harry and Hermione setting up a camp on the Limestone Pavement atop the cliff. More prosaically, it was featured in The Trip with Steve Coogan and Rob Brydon.
Dogs' own country
If Malham Cove demonstrates why Yorkshire was christened God's own country, The Lister Arms shows why it should also be christened 'dogs' own country'. Don't just take it from me, take it from The Yorkshire Post which crowned it the 'Dog Friendly Accommodation/Attraction of the Year' in 2023.
To win such a title, the inn took part in a gruelling entry process and was praised by judges for being "a truly dog-friendly inn which offers an array of dog-friendly amenities including a Waggy Tails welcome pack and breakfast sausages".
I have already made my position on dogs clear, but in true politician fashion I will now comment on something I don't really understand… If I were a dog owner, I would definitely consider treating it to a stay at The Lister Arms. Every doggy detail has been considered. Just look at these two photos…
And to revert to the locale, you don't need to drive anywhere to take your dog for a walk. You can stride out from the accommodation and experience the very best of the Dales within minutes.
5 things to do from Malham
Malham’s circular walk
Thanks to the inn’s location, guests can step out into the Yorkshire Dales, with the famous circular walk of Malham Cove, Gordale Scar and Janet’s Foss right on the doorstep. A must for Harry Potter fans.
The Yorkshire Three Peaks
The challenge takes on the peaks of Pen-y-Ghent (694 metres), Whernside (736 metres) and Ingleborough (723 metres), usually in this order, and in under 12 hours.
Bolton Abbey
Bolton Abbey is also a 30-minute drive away and offers guests and their dogs a circular walk through the estate.
Bolton Abbey steam train
Train enthusiasts can visit The Embsay and Bolton Abbey steam train, taking in the panoramic views of the Yorkshire Dales.
Neighbouring towns
Nearby market towns include Grassington and Skipton, which both offer an abundance of shops, restaurants and cafes to enjoy. Award-winning TV series All Creatures Great and Small was filmed in Grassington.
Verdict
A winner for families, dog-owners, couples, and of course dogs!
Visit The Lister Arms website for more information, and the latest prices and availability.
