Hands up who can remember their first heartbreak? It's an almost impossible experience to forget and likely came after a wonderfully blissful period of young love, hope and optimism.
So why is it that as adults, the pain can still feel visceral? It's one of those situations that doesn't seem to get easier, no matter how experienced you are or how much self-love you've practiced.
The bad news is, there's no one-size-fits-all way to overcome heartbreak, but the good news? There are many different things you can try to bounce back from a broken heart.
From my experience, the worst part about a breakup is the overthinking, which might see you ruminating on certain conversations or situations, or becoming stuck in a cycle of negative thoughts.
When we're ruled by our emotions, it can be difficult to tune in to the logical side of our brain. Our logic allows us to believe we will (one day!) be okay, we will feel normal again and life will move on. But without logic, feeling overwhelmed and confused takes over.
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There are lots of different things you can try to help you heal, but if there's one thing my job as a confidence coach has taught me, is that you have to find out what works for you. After trying all the usual quick fixes to heal my own heartbreak, I was recommended hypnotherapy.
© GettyHere's how it helped cure my heartbreak.
What is hypnotherapy and what can it help with?
Hypnotherapy is an incredibly transformative, powerful modality, used to help you take back control of your thoughts, feelings and actions.
Hypnotherapy can help with a wide range of issues, including sleep issues, lack of confidence, trauma, addiction, quitting smoking, creating healthier habits, easing phobias and disordered eating.
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A hypnotherapist works with your unconscious mind to uncover thought patterns and behaviour and use this as a catalyst for change.
While the mind is in a relaxed state, it's easier and faster to change negative beliefs and reframe thought patterns that are holding you back.
What happens during a hypnotherapy session?
My initial conversation with clinical hypnotherapist Kathy Fortescue lasted 45 minutes, and due to her warm and nurturing nature, I knew instantly I was in safe hands.
As with any therapist, it's important to find someone you feel you can trust, and feel at ease with.
© GettyThe session took place on Zoom and once the consultation was complete, I turned my phone (and all distracting devices) off, lay down on my bed and closed my eyes.
After my consultation, my first hypnotherapy session began with a gentle induction, which when you fall into the state of hypnosis.
A common misconception of hypnotherapy is that you are out of control and have no agency over your thoughts or body. I can confirm this is absolutely not true. You should feel very relaxed, calm and safe. It's the same state you’re in moments before you fall asleep, and this is exactly how it feels.
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The actual hypnosis lasted for over an hour, but it felt like minutes. Kathy used a range of techniques to uncover limiting beliefs I held about love, relationships and myself.
She gave me space to say all the things I needed to say, without fear of judgement or any repercussions. We worked through traumatic memories, feelings of grief and residual anger.
She gave me techniques to control and manage my negative thoughts and finished the session with a series of empowering statements.
This was incredibly cleansing and freeing after having so many thoughts about my breakup pent up for so long.
How does hypnotherapy make you feel?
I immediately felt lighter after my hypnotherapy session, like a huge weight had been lifted from my shoulders.
It was in the days afterwards that I noticed the biggest difference. All the thoughts surrounding my breakup that had occupied so much of my time had either vanished or I was equipped to reframe them.
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My mind felt so much calmer and I felt back in control. I felt noticeably more positive and confident about myself and the future and I couldn't believe how much I had changed in such a short space of time.
Does hypnotherapy work?
Hypnotherapy was incredibly effective for me. It was exactly what I needed after a painful breakup. The huge impact my session had led me to train and qualify as a clinical hypnotherapist myself, and you can find out more about my work here. Ironically, I now specialise in helping others to heal from heartbreak.
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