After being with my boyfriend for 15 years, I'm no stranger to being quizzed about why I'm not engaged, married, or starting a family. And the probing is becoming tedious.
Martin, 32, and I have grown through our teens, twenties and now thirties together. We have built a life together that I am proud of, but, like most couples, there have been ups and downs along the way – but I wouldn't change a thing.
We have celebrated major milestones such as buying our first home together and travelling the world. Yet, that doesn't stop strangers I've known 30 minutes from telling me, "If he hasn’t proposed by now, he never will."
The unsolicited comments about our relationship have been overwhelming for me in recent months, and more cutting than I care to admit. While I know I shouldn't let these thoughtless comments bother me, after a while it starts to chip at my coat of armour.
With the support of my boyfriend, we visited spiritual wellness centre Fire+Alchemy for a private couples crystal energy healing session, hosted by Crystal Healer and Reader, Roberta Boyce, to silence that negative energy trying to infiltrate our relationship, and to strengthen our forcefield of love against future criticisms.
What is crystal energy healing?
Crystal healing is a holistic practice rooted in ancient Chinese medicine.
It is a form of energy healing that uses crystals to release and amplify energy throughout the body, to promote physical, mental and emotional wellbeing on a deeper level.
© InstagramRoberta explained: "Crystal healing draws on the energy's ability to be absorbed, amplified and oriented through the body. The crystals create circuits of energy, or vibrations, to release blockages and improve wellbeing."
Crystal energy healing can offer a bespoke healing experience, depending on the individual's concerns, as Roberta added: "The crystals, and their placement on the body, channel information to find a resolution for a concern, and to honour the needs of the recipient."
While crystal energy healing lends itself to individual sessions for a personal and deeper release, Roberta shared that couples' sessions can tune into each person's energy, as well as their shared vibrations.
The expert went on: "It provides an additional way to explore imbalance and resonance within the structure of the relationship without getting stuck in a narrative."
While some are dubious about spiritual healing, Roberta insisted the benefits are "infinite", though it depends on how open the individual is.
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The Essential Sacred Self founder affirmed: "When we seek to energetically heal we are preparing to let more of our innocent, original self, into the world and into our relationships. It has the potential to heal anything, but to be most effective we must be prepared to honestly investigate what is coming up to be healed."
What happened when I tried crystal energy healing
I have enjoyed guided meditation and breathwork in the past, which convinced me holistic remedies are effective, but my boyfriend was more sceptical.
However, he agreed to try crystal energy healing to support me and help us handle the emotional weight of those loaded negative comments, as well as strengthen our relationship further.
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Personally, I needed advice to guard my heart against future negative energy and restore my faith in the trajectory of our relationship after years of having that noise trying to infiltrate my thoughts.
Before our crystal energy healing session, Roberta emphasised the importance of having an open mind, and explained that the healing would be guided by our energies rather than a prescribed narrative, to achieve an open and honest experience where our energy was free.
© GettyShe invited us to share our goals, which were to combat external pressures, silence judgemental voices, realign our energies, and strengthen the bond we've nurtured for 15 years.
Based on our goals, Roberta handpicked specific love-related crystals to "assist in orientating the corresponding energies to make the desired shifts."
Rose quartz, which connects to the heart chakra, was placed on our heads, chests, and feet to "cleanse and clear our hearts".
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We held clear quartz to amplify our energy, while green aventurine, which builds confidence, courage, and happiness, was placed under our backs to connect us to our most vulnerable selves.
Roberta guided us into a deeply relaxing state through breathwork, as she explained it helps to "make connections, create focus, and induce a state of receptivity to move beyond physical blocks" before she attuned to our energy fields.
As the session progressed, both Martin and I felt the crystals in our hands heat up, which Roberta revealed was a sign our energies were connected to the crystals. Naysayers would claim it's body heat, but Roberta revealed that body temperatures typically drop in a meditative state. According to the expert: "The hands are especially receptive, and you felt the connection being made with the crystals. The warmth is an expression of the union between you both, as well as a provision of the heat required to burn away those icy comments."
© GettyAs we surrendered to the practice our responses were quite different, though our energies remained strong. My experience was more introspective, while my partner's was more physical, as he described a tingling sensation "like an electric current surging" through his body, which eventually released through his head.
For me, the moment Roberta said "stuck" it struck a chord, and it instantly jolted me awake. Explaining the different reactions, Roberta said: "Each of you were held in an individual way, on your separate mats, with your own set of crystals in a shared experience. Hence you were triggered by something that your boyfriend wasn't, and he released in a way you didn't."
The practitioner revealed both reactions speak volumes, as it highlighted how we process those external pressures. My reaction to "stuck" reflected how I internalise other's opinions and they freeze my own thoughts, while my boyfriend's "super-power sensation" showed that he feels the same pressures, but chooses to let them go.
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Diving deeper into my reaction, Roberta shared: "The 'stuckness' is alarming to you because it freezes you, and your energy likes to be dynamic. This is where your mind is likely to kick in because you don't like the idea of freezing, you begin to question how to avoid it, which opens up space for doubt, and combined with other opinions puts you in a bigger pool of doubt."
To overcome feeling triggered by external voices, Roberta urged me to "lean more into your boyfriend". She advised: "Back into the trust you have in each other and your life together. Then what is carrying you forward isn't coming from trying to outrun doubt, instead it comes from the relaxed warmth of deciding what is best for both of you together."
While I thought Martin had thicker skin in relation to the probing comments, I was proved wrong, it's merely his reaction that is different; where comments eventually infiltrate and I internalise them, he spits them out. Roberta weighed in: "For your boyfriend, the same energy came through like interference. The electric current-like sensations in his body that eventually burnt out from his head, told me he stamps out the opinions of others, and the noise of ideas that are not his own agitate him."
© GettyFor the second part of the session, which Roberta likened to Tantric therapy solely because it combines our energies together, we sat back-to-back to allow the vulnerable side of our heart chakras to be open to one another. We held the rose quartz over our hearts and closed our eyes.
Within minutes Martin instantly felt heat radiating from my back, while I felt crippling tension in my shoulders and weight on my head, which I thought was a sympathy sensation after he experienced the pressure previously. At one point this heavy pressure was unbearable and I felt the urge to lean on my long-term partner, but resisted so as not to disturb his practice, or burden him with my weight – literally and figuratively.
We readjusted the set-up, and when I leant back on Martin I felt a huge release, which the practitioner interpreted as a sign of our support, strength and, most importantly, our love for one another.
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She told me: "The physical relief in the head, neck and shoulders when you repositioned yourself to be supported was an actual show of ease generated when you support each other. It also stands as a pointer that you might hold yourself back when it's actually helpful to lean into him in moments when the activity in your head burdens your mind, and weighs down your shoulders, and back into the trust you have in each other and your life together."
We both felt an energetic current running back and forth through our hearts instead of orbiting us. Roberta also sensed this, and said it highlighted how entwined we are, the power of our love, and the "strong connection" binding us together.
However, during this segment Roberta detected a coldness in our lower backs, contrasted by a warmth in the upper bodies to dissipate the cold, which she depicted as a "separation of passions" and a need for shared interests, though this is not surprising considering our shift patterns makes forging a routine, and weaving a joint hobby into that, difficult.
She advised: "Sharing what you are each passionate about, introducing these in your relationship, and anchoring it in ideas and activities that you are both excited by is a key way to strengthen your relationship against the noise from others."
After the crystal energy healing, Roberta summarised her findings and reassured us our energies are strong, loving, "sweet and aligned", but the key is not to let external opinions disturb our peace, which was a relief to hear.
She added: "Your session really showed the strength in your relationship. There was a great sense of comfort between the two of you, and you're well-matched, which was communicated by a permeating sense of ease in the space."
Did crystal healing strengthen our relationship?
I am a huge advocate for self-care and holistic remedies, even more so after the crystal energy healing session, whether it's for personal wellbeing, to heal friendships, or romantic relationships.
Unlike breathwork, meditation and therapy, crystal energy healing allowed our energies, and subconscious thoughts, to flow freely, and release the pressures plaguing us.
© GettyCrystal energy healing was truly transformative. Martin and I left feeling lighter, lifted, even more connected and in love. Even my boyfriend, who entered the session as a sceptic, was pleasantly surprised.
Crystal energy healing reaffirmed what we already knew, but needed reminding; our love is real, strong, unbreakable, and our future is exactly that – ours to shape. It reminded us to trust in each other's love, our relationship, and have faith in our timeline.
The session also helped me see that my boyfriend hears the external noise too but chooses to block it out because he believes in us, and it has inspired me to do the same.
Ultimately, it encouraged us to mute the outside world, lean into the love we share, and, be confident in our relationship. Plus, it was a unique bonding experience we can add to our ever-growing memory bank.
